Sleep Divorces Are on the Rise
Dear Gail:
My girlfriend and I recently started to co-habitate. When we used to weekend together I thought her little snore was cute. Now night after night it’s making me crazy, even seems to have grown louder. I’m sleepless and exhausted. I’ve casually mentioned it and she insists she does not snore. What can I do?
Sleepless in Tacoma
Dear Sleepless:
You’re SOL buddy. Women NEVER admit to snoring, so stop reminding her. My own mother was capable of waking the dead or making you wish you were dead in order to get some rest. My poor dad didn’t get a good night’s sleep for seventy years. If you’re looking for empathy, I was with a man who could cause a seismic shift of the earth’s surface. I’m talking Richter Scale, baby.
You’re right: it’s not cute, endearing or life sustainable. There is some trending good news, however: “sleep divorces” are saving the exhausted. Separate bedrooms! No divorce lawyers! Just high-tail it to another room to save your sanity, bank account and relationship. You can be trendy yet rested.
Other than sleeping in your car, that is your best shot at not being too depleted to stand in line at Starbucks and fall asleep in your Mocha Latte.
Short Men Are Tall, Too
Dear Gail,
What do you think about dating really short guys? I am 5’6”ish. As I get back in the dating world, it seems women are looking for men at least their height or taller. Should I be intimidated by this? Should I just seek out women who are my height or under?
Thanks,
Bruce
Dear Bruce:
You’re in famous short-men company, babe: Billy Joel 5’5”, Joe Pesci 5’3”, Bruno Mars 5’5”, and Kevin Hart 5’4”. Lovin’ all those short guys!
How about our ex Secretary of State Henry Kissinger — lawn-ornament size yet every hot or famous woman alive wanted a date with him. And even at 100 was voted sexiest politician of 2022 and ’23 by Glamour magazine. It’s still workin’ for him. Got brains, Bruce? Use ‘em. Smart is hot.
Money is hot, too — look at Jeff Bezos.
Date tall. Date short. Date eye level. As Napoleon said, “Height doesn’t matter when you’re lying down.”
Need advice? Gail wants to hear from you. Send your letters, questions, and quandaries to: newsletter@weareageist.com
RE: Sleep Divorce. You could also use a free white noise app (or pink noise, violet noise or other) to cancel out the snoring. I recently shared a room with an old friend for a gal pal reunion, and her brown noise app (or was it green?) did a great job of canceling out her snoring. She claimed that I snored as well, but how would she know since she was sawing logs all night? The free app kept our 60-year long friendship intact, with no troubling sleepless nights.
I have traveled across the country with two different gal pals and they both snored. My doctor told me about ear plugs called “The Worlds Best Ear Plugs” and they work really well . I also have played rain on my computer or plug in a fan. Yes white, violet or pink noise anything to drown out the snores!
Hi Gail Another important consideration is sleep apnea. its very common among big time snorers and can be life threatening. A CPAP machine is very quiet and pretty much eliminates the problem. Also many Dentists are trained to make anti snoring mouth guards that work very well for mild to moderate apnea as well as snoring elimination
Good to know. I’ve never slept with anyone who used one of those machines but tried they tried the nasal strips….which do not prevent noise. Snoring is a tough one but I have trotted off to the couch or second bedroom, a fool proof solution.
Another reason you may need a separate bedroom is side effects of meds your partner takes. Referring to the ones used for Parkinson’s–a condition which more than a million US people. Causes restless sleep, nightmares etc. at times. No device can fix this, and separate bedrooms means better sleep.
Thanks Marilyn another good example of why separate bedrooms are better for sleep. I dated a man for years who has rls (restless leg syndrome) which made sleeping difficult for both of us. His snoring however was landmark! Also night terrors can disrupt sleep for a partner. Sleep is critical to health with more and more research on this fact….just get a good night of rest regardless of where it is
Being a 6′ tall lady, I had NO trouble dating a 5’2″ wonderful gentleman and he was not bothered by this. Look around and you will see great gals that are not so narcissistic.
I am sure you are right. I am 5/5″ so I am within striking distance of any height. Thanks for your point of view!
I have been married for 56 years to a wonderful man who snores. My solution: Flents ear plugs. They used to be made of wax (back in the olden days). Now I think they’re made of silicon. Only if you don’t have an extra bedroom.
I have used the same kind of ear plugs but I almost got one molded and stuck in my ear as I pushed it in too far to block the snores. They are good on an airplane and better than nothing. I agree the extra bedroom is the best solution.