Dear Gail: Can You Have Too Much Sex?

Can You Have Too Much Sex?

Dear Gail:
I am a 72-year-old man who’s been dating a 68-year-old smart, successful, attractive, SEXUALLY INSATIABLE woman for the past 1 1/2 years. I’m sure there are multitudes of men that envy me but “be careful what you wish for.” I’m tired. I can’t keep up with her sexual needs and fresh out of excuses because they don’t work! She has the appetite of an 18-year-old boy. Help me!
Brian

Dear Brian:
Whoa, baby; I’m tired reading your letter. Insatiable you say!? I am incredulous …you won and lost the lottery. This is the stuff of “Nine ½ Weeks” plus 69.214 more. I assume you’ve tried the age-old headache, which is an anchor tenant in any relationship eventually. There is always the Fred Sanford clutching of your heart and moaning “This is the big one” or the dog ate your dick.

I’m shocked menopause hasn’t struck down her sex drive. It is Mother Nature’s little midlife gift that shifts women into park. She must have an endless supply of hormone replacement products as you are surely going broke on Cialis. You two are big Pharma’s dream come true.

And as for how she powers on, I can only say: “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Can Love Conquer All?

Dear Gail,
I’m a 60-year-old advertising executive who does very well financially. I’m steeped in culture, fashion, and politics. And, I’m falling in love with my truck driver boyfriend. We met last summer at a beach and immediately began hitting it off, and have continued to do so. What do you think about this kind of wage-disparity relationship? I’d be the one who brings home the proverbial bacon. Can love really conquer all?

Gratefully,
Theresa G.

Dear Theresa
No. Wake up, sweetie; as much as men gripe and complain about paying and supporting women, money is power. They play for power and the biggie CONTROL. You pay and you have the say. Although I have seen hot, hunky truck drivers who I would happily lure home, so kudos and send pixs.

Theresa, you need to invite him to the theater, opera, and a few cocktail parties to see if he sweats through the Tom Ford clothes you bought him or remains dry as a bone. Be sure and wear Dolce and Gabbana to check for a grimace. And last, but certainly not least, turn on your preferential political talk show and you will either duck, run, or realize love will conquer enough. 

Need advice? Gail wants to hear from you. Send your letters, questions, and quandaries to: newsletter@weareageist.com