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Dear Gail: Your Best Friend’s Husband on Tinder… Shhh or Rat Him Out?

Should your partner suggest cosmetic procedures? Should you tell a friend about her cheating husband? Comedian Gail Forrest advises.

Your Best Friend’s Husband on Tinder… Shhh or Rat Him Out?

Dear Gail:
I was scrolling through Tinder the other day and saw my best friend’s husband on it. There is no doubt that it was him. I have not heard her mention any problems with their marriage so I was shocked and in disbelief.  

She has been my best friend since high school. I went to her wedding and am the godmother to her daughter. Should I tell her? I have no idea what is best in this situation.
Lucy

Dear Lucy:
Sorry, darlin’ but you are SOL no matter what you decide. You need a man of the cloth… any cloth: rabbi, priest, iman, sorcerer, fortune teller, or old woman who speaks Yiddish.  There is no “best” in this situation. If you do tell her, you will probably break her heart and marriage and if you don’t tell you risk losing her friendship if she ever finds out you knew and did not tell. A rock and a hard place – take your pick or unexpectedly move to Switzerland.

I prefer honesty from best friends except about my hair color. In this case whip up a big pitcher of margaritas and some pot brownies to break the news. She will also need your shoulder.

Wanna Neck?

Dear Gail:
I am a 67-year-old woman who has been dating a 74-year-old guy for over a year. I am, however, the oldest woman he has ever gone out with. I take extremely good care of myself with facials, injections, etc., but recently he asked me about my wrinkly neck. I don’t love how it’s aging but have not yet considered a neck lift. My boyfriend offered to pay for one. I don’t know if this is insulting or generous.   

What do you think?
Ginny, New York City Girl

Dear Ginny:
Well, sugar if you don’t want one, give him my number, because I do! I am haunted by my turkey (gobble gobble) neck and would love a perk-me-up. Necks are the biggest tell-tale sign of age no matter how many fillers, botox injections or face lifts you’ve had. They are the big reveal. 

I do, however, understand your conflict as it is a blessing and a curse offer. If he is used to going out with much younger women and the offer is to make you look more like the arm candy he’s accustomed to taking out, thus feeling better about himself — Insult. Au contraire, if he thinks it will make you happy and feel better about yourself — Generous.  

Darlin’, if you think a neck lift is in your cosmetic future, forget what the motive is… it’s free! I suggest you find the name of Diane Sawyer’s or Lesley Stahl’s plastic surgeon and make an appointment. ASAP.  

Need advice? Gail wants to hear from you. Send your letters, questions, and quandaries to: newsletter@weareageist.com 

See medical disclaimer below. ↓

4 COMMENTS

  1. How about privately confronting the Tinder Husband? He might quickly re-think his intentions and remove the listing, thus renewing his commitment to his wife. Or…. maybe swipe right on his listing to shock the heck out of him. Or… maybe suggest to his wife that she swipe right or left, as the spirit moves her.

    • It’s a sticky wicket no matter how you approach it. I think I would want to know and not wait for seeing it on his cell phone one day, or computer. I doubt confronting him would help as he already crossed a line in the marriage sand. And he might then quickly take down his pix so there is no trail anymore

  2. Thanks for the chuckles. Regarding the cheating husband, I’d want to know. So I vote for “rat him out.” Regarding neck lift, I’m with you 100%. She should accept, regardless of his intentions. If he just wants arm-candy, she can move on and he can’t take it back. Your columns are both interesting and funny. I don’t understand why you’re not already famous.

    • I agree take the neck lift or any lift for that matter! Although I have recently learned sometimes too much truth can profoundly backfire so tread lightly with the truth!
      And I wish I was “famous” already!

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The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

Gail Forresthttp://www.gailforrest.com
Gail Forrest is a comedy writer and stand up comic. She studied at Second City in Chicago and has performed at Pretty Funny Women and Flappers in LA, as well as Second City to name a few. She has a published book Gonepausal on Amazon about women in midlife and is working on a new book which includes men and promises to be just as funny with even more insights on aging.

 

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