Dear Gail: Willing to Risk Your Life for Love?

Comedian Gail Forrest offers dating advice for a misaligned sense of adventure and what to do when you can't find a strong attraction

Willing to Risk Your Life for Love?

Dear Gail,
I’m 45 and have been dating a guy who is 55. He’s a gentleman, honest, romantic, and money is no object. Here’s my problem — he’s a born adventurer/explorer type and I’m not. Surfing on high-risk coastlines, wingsuit gliding, mountain climbing (did Everest) deep sea diving and other risky adventures are his bread and butter. He has even encouraged me to join him.

He’s on a list for a moon and back trip! Even seeing Gravity put my nerves on edge. I like tennis (on earth), hiking, Pilates, and biking. Nothing where I have to sign a waiver!

Although he may be doomed is this relationship?

Help, please,
Martha C.

Dear Martha:
You’re dating a “wild and crazy guy,” with possibly a death wish. Although he sounds very James Bond, stay Earth bound and ixnay to waivers. Terra firma dates are more reassuring and usually don’t involve an ambulance or medevac. 

If you need to join in on these extreme playdates there are a few ways to tone down the adventures. How about snorkeling instead of the deep dark sea? And definitely no talk of seeing the Titanic other than in the movie. A hike up 5th Avenue to Bergdorfs could be close to an Everest adventure, as socialite Sandy Hill Pittman summited in the La Perla underwear she bought there. Or for some cerebral adventure, a high stakes competitive game of chess to get your adrenalin revved up – very The Queen’s Gambit.  None of these escapades involve leaving the gravitational pull of Earth or waivers.

If, however, his only idea of fun are risky outings….

Save yourself and date a golfer.

Learn to Scream Your Own Name 

Dear Gail,
I am a sixty-five-year-old woman who honestly does not see a hot sex life on the horizon.  I haven’t dated anyone in quite a while who I would want to kiss no less have sex with.  The last great sex I had was quite a few years ago. No one rocks or even tilts my boat.  Still waters, I’m afraid.

What do you think about striking it up with a vibrator instead of a partner? And have a brand suggestion?
Leslie S.

Dear Leslie:
IT’S VIBRATOR TIME, BABY! Learn to scream your own name. Why waste more years searching for a decent kisser no less great sex when pleasure is just a Google search away.   Amazon has vibrators in every shape, size, and color imaginable. And oh the shapes and sizes will surprise you — pretzel shaped or like the Washington Monument. A few come with a USB port for charging which made me wonder if Apple has a new secret product line.

With the Barbie movie coming out there might soon be a pink Barbie vibrator on the market. After all, Ken was never a hottie. Sex and the City made the Jack Rabbit a must-have for women and comes in a nice red. A little intimidating at first as to how to best use it but trust me, soon the Rabbit will be your bestie. A simpler, easier way to go is a good old fashioned hand-held shower head. One of my girlfriends swears it works every single time and it’s free. The Pocket Rocket is great if you’re a woman on the go and horny mid-day.  It’s small and discreetly shaped so you can always say it’s your lipstick.

I discovered my local CVS has an entire aisle of vibrators. I spent some time shopping there until a voice boomed out over a speaker: “Will the woman wearing a North Face parka in Aisle 6 stop opening all the vibrator boxes.”  I just waved to those staring, but how else was I supposed to know what they looked like?  

Leslie, forget waiting for great sex, as you might not live long enough. Pleasure is just a click away!   

Need advice? Gail wants to hear from you. Send your letters, questions, and quandaries to: newsletter@weareageist.com

See medical disclaimer below. ↓


  1. Excellent!

    Actually I always found that falling in love period was dangerous enough as it is. You’re really putting everything on the line, your money, your rep, your sanity, your life.

    Also – “Learn to scream your own name” 😂😂

  2. Gail…things on the dating front are hard enough (see what I did there?) for we senior men still looking for love without you espousing the joy, dependability, variety and economic advantages baked into vibratory.

    Please just suggest to that lady with the vibrator query to go take a ride on a Harley that needs a tune-up and leave it at that.

    • oh you poor men who big pharma gave a real lift (catch what I did?) with Viagra and Cialis. Off the point but it is a good one. What are any of us looking for partners to do? We all need a little help from a friend whatever form it takes


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The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

Gail Forresthttp://www.gailforrest.com
Gail Forrest is a comedy writer and stand up comic. She studied at Second City in Chicago and has performed at Pretty Funny Women and Flappers in LA, as well as Second City to name a few. She has a published book Gonepausal on Amazon about women in midlife and is working on a new book which includes men and promises to be just as funny with even more insights on aging.


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