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Dear Gail: His Cheating Business Card

Comedian Gail Forrest offers insights into decoding a wedding ring and dressing comfortably for the beach.

His Cheating Business Card

Dear Gail:
I met this guy at a party and I was really attracted to him but he was wearing a wedding ring. Later when I was leaving he came up to me and said he found me very attractive, handed me his card and said to give him a call. Is it possible he’s a widow and still wears the ring? Should I call?

Thanks,
Confused in Chicago

Dear Confused
I have two little words for you – no and no. I take all wedding rings as little rings of truth. My very best guess is he’s married, a cheater and looking for fresh bait. I spy trouble ahead.

Put the phone down, set his card on fire or cut it into tiny pieces and eat them, but remove all traces of him from your life.

It’s almost comical… almost.
Gail. 

Beach Blanket Bingo

Dear Gail:
First of all I must mention that I am quite particular about my wardrobe. I don’t seek out trendy clothes or expensive labels, just what I like. I definitely do not dress for others, but for myself and what I feel good in as well as love.

Recently, my boyfriend asked me to go for a casual walk on the beach. I don’t really own beachy outfits as I rarely go. So when I showed up in my usual long flowing outfit he said I looked like I was dressed for dinner. I believe that is better than putting on a tiny bathing suit and being mistaken for a beached whale don’t you?

Any advice on this?
Kate

Dear Kate:
First of all yes, never go out of your way to look like a whale. However, it’s great to hear you dress for yourself and not others, which I assume would be time consuming, expensive and confusing. I personally have regressed in my dressing since the start of Covid. I put on a pair of sweatpants and never looked back. OMG, darlin’ you haven’t lived until you wear those soft baggy pants.

As for your beach wear, I say at a certain age the more flowing the better as only hairless supermodels can pull off those itsy bitsy swim outfits. Hairless! They obviously require a full body wax which to me seems like an extreme sport — and only for the young and very high. Shoot me now! Btw I hope your boyfriend was wearing baggy swim shorts as old guys in Speedos… just say “no” even if they manscape!

Next time tell him you’re not available until dinner.
Gail

Need advice? Gail wants to hear from you. Send your letters, questions, and quandaries to: newsletter@weareageist.com

See medical disclaimer below. ↓

2 COMMENTS

  1. Funny and good advice as usual.

    I too ❤️ sweatpants and shirts, and I was way ahead of the covid curve on this one; honest, I was born that way. Remember that Carnaby Street attire from back in the 60’s? Nauseatingly un-American, you ask me. We are a CASUAL people!

    I still have my original “I’m With Stupid” t shirt. I’m not with Stupid anymore though, for obvious reasons.

    • I had my Beasts of the East Mets t-shirt until it disappeared in the wash one day as it was so worn it gave up ad died . I am trying desperatey to wean myself from COVID clothes yet today I went out in pagama bottoms! Very comfy

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The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

Gail Forresthttp://www.gailforrest.com
Gail Forrest is a comedy writer and stand up comic. She studied at Second City in Chicago and has performed at Pretty Funny Women and Flappers in LA, as well as Second City to name a few. She has a published book Gonepausal on Amazon about women in midlife and is working on a new book which includes men and promises to be just as funny with even more insights on aging.

 

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