Dear Gail: Golf Is a Good Marriage Ruined     

Should you ever be your spouse's teacher? Can you keep your slovenly habits a secret from new love? Comedian Gail Forrest weighs in.

Golf Is a Good Marriage Ruined                        

Dear Gail,
I’m 63, married, and an excellent golfer. I started playing when I was 10, and had pro potential but chose another career path. I belong to a golf club, play multiple times a week and love it. Golf is my passion.

Now my retired husband wants me to *teach him the game*. He says this will give us something to do together. He has never held a club in his life and I fear I might lose my mind or “kill” him in the process of teaching him.  

What should I do? 

Helen W

Dear Helen:
Step away from the golf cart and put on your thinking cap. Teaching your husband to golf is the worst idea ever…ever! And I hope you keep a stash of Xanax in your golf bag because your nerves will be shot on day one. I had a golfer boyfriend try and teach me to play.  “You’re doing it all wrong! Keep your head still, look down, take the club back with your elbow bent more to the right, and follow thru in one smooth motion.” I stopped liking him at “elbow.” I married a tennis player. You, my dear, run the risk of losing your husband as well as your mind.

Avoid a marital double bogey and hire him a coach. 

And If he insists on being together try Pickleball.  It’s simple to learn and no Xanax needed. 


Wrong Question — Right Answer 

Dear Gail,
I’m a widower, age 65, and admittedly I am a slob. My wife let me be myself, but here’s the problem — I’ve struck up a rather serious online relationship with a woman. We have not actually met face-to-face but she’s going to be visiting me at my home. We agreed to spend a week together, and see how it goes. I’ve made attempts at cleaning up my residence but I’m afraid she’s eventually going to find what I really am.

Should I tell her before she arrives? 

What do you think?
Stan F. 

Dear Stan:
Are you out of your freaking mind?!! SHE’S STAYING A WEEK? I don’t care how messy your house is that’s beside the point. Seven days is six too long with a woman you’ve never met in the three dimensional world. Regardless of the endless hours, months or years you have spent communicating on line or the “deep” connection you’ve forged as a result, it’s still fantasyland. Fantasy, baby! No matter how many times zones away she is meet for coffee close to the airport.   

This is risky turf as you’re not Tony and Maria from West Side Story locking love struck eyes and bursting into song.  It’s two internet daters searching for love in the ethosphere.  She won’t be looking around your house she’ll be staring at you and vice versa. The real people world can be a big shock. I’ve had men fly to meet me and I promise it rarely lives up to the anticipation. I’m grateful for return tickets!  

But if it’s the mess you’re really worried about…call a cleaning service.  And mums the word.

Need advice? Gail wants to hear from you. Send your letters, questions, and quandaries to: newsletter@weareageist.com

See medical disclaimer below. ↓


  1. Another example of why online dating is a minefield. And why being 65 doesn’t confer wisdom. You’ve never met someone in person and expect them to adapt to you instantly? NOT.

  2. I agree online e dating is a minefield ! There must be other ways to meet good people. In line dating has become the Hotel California. You can check out but you can never leave!!!!

  3. Love this sage advice! Can’t believe this guy is inviting her to his home as a first meeting, i mean wtf….get a hotel for the first time especially if you are a self professed slob! LOL…cleaning service is a MUST! Great job Gail;-)

  4. Well done … this guy is crazy …. and so is the women….from what I’ve heard from my single friends netting for coffee can be pure hell. And if this guy wants to live like a slob he should get a cleaning person…. messy home messy mind … obviously in this case

    • I like that messy home messy mind! Good way to think when living like Pig Pen, And yes, just coffee can be a snooze fest or nightmare. The shorter the better until proven otherwise

  5. Good take, Gail.

    Not to defend Stan the 65er bc what he’s doing really is pretty nuts, but hey, the guy’s a widower, probably lonely, and evidently wants to relive the days when he had a companion in life and in the house – and for many it’s very easy to get tangled up in unrealistic dreams while online. So, yeah, he’s likely to have an unpleasant encounter with reality, but you never know ….


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

Gail Forresthttp://www.gailforrest.com
Gail Forrest is a comedy writer and stand up comic. She studied at Second City in Chicago and has performed at Pretty Funny Women and Flappers in LA, as well as Second City to name a few. She has a published book Gonepausal on Amazon about women in midlife and is working on a new book which includes men and promises to be just as funny with even more insights on aging.


Sign up for AGEIST today
We will never sell or give your email to others. Get special info on Diet, Exercise, Sleep and Longevity.

Recommended Articles


LATEST Profiles

Latest in Health Science