It’s easy to forget how much effort and action it takes to remain connected and close to our romantic partners. So often we can go through life with our person and forget to take the time to build deeper connections. In the pursuit of fostering stronger bonds in our romantic relationships, we have found a concise yet compelling gem: the T.E.A.M. method, introduced to us by Codie Sanchez. The T.E.A.M. method is a strategic framework designed to facilitate nightly check-ins for couples which includes touch, education, appreciation, and metrics. We like it because it allows for designated time to not only discuss what might be bugging us in the relationship but it also encourages discussing what is going right. This way, we don’t let issues big and little build up and fester, just waiting to boil over. It also gives us the opportunity to strengthen our bond by sharing appreciation for one another. Try it with your partner over dinner. If anything, it will open up new types of conversations; and chances are you will leave feeling closer and more heard.
The T.E.A.M. Formula
At the close of each day, take 10 minutes to sit down with your significant other. This brief interlude sets the stage for the T.E.A.M. formula to unfold.
T – TOUCH: Begin by establishing physical connection, the silent language of affection. Whether it’s a gentle hand-hold or an embrace, let touch serve as a prelude to conversation.
E – EDUCATION: Share something that you learned that day. It may be a morsel of knowledge, a harsh truth, or an enlightening revelation that has come your way.
A – APPRECIATION: Gratitude is the sweetest of sentiments. Express one thing you genuinely appreciate about your partner. Remember: variety is the spice of life; don’t say the same thing every time.
M – METRICS: This is the area that your partner can improve on. When issues come up, it may be a good idea to cool off and resist the urge to unleash them in the heat of the moment. Instead, jot down your thoughts and feelings, preserving them for this designated check-in time. Then, you can share your frustrations or areas of improvement.
The T.E.A.M. formula offers a structured approach to encouraging intimacy and communication. By pausing daily to touch, enlighten, appreciate, and manage metrics, couples are able to work towards a more harmonious and resilient partnership.