David
Hey, everybody. Welcome to Since You Asked. Let’s check in with our brilliant co-hosts today. What’s going on with you guys this week? Rob, what’s up?
Rob
Another big week, David. I had to go buy new towels. I had no idea how hard it was. The materials they are, the colors, the sizes. I had no idea this was such a problem or convoluted. Susan, help me out here. What do I look for?
Susan
I have no help for you. Because what I realized, as you’re saying, is that I cannot remember the last time I bought new towels. Why do we not buy new towels unless we move?
Rob
Yeah. And absorbency is the big thing. I guess you need cotton. I think cotton is what I’m looking for.
Susan
And I guess you don’t want those crappy ones in polyester.
Rob
Then they get rough with your face and they don’t absorb.
David
Rob? Can we get you a bigger problem?
Rob
Well, I’ve got plenty of problems. If you want to go, baby, I got you. I’m ready to roll.
Susan
I just love the picture of Rob in the store rubbing up against his face.
David
Susan, what’s going on with you this week? I assume you solved the towel crisis.
Susan
I’m getting ready for a motivational speech that I’m giving to a group of elderly people in this community, and I just had to pitch it and it went really, really well. They loved it. Just super excited about being part of this sort of elder learning community.
Rob
Are we in that elder age group? Or are you talking older?
Susan
I think older. I think they were even older, actually. If that’s possible.
Rob
It is, yeah.
David
So, what we’re here for is to answer people’s questions and hopefully give them a little wisdom; we’ll do our best. This week’s question: “My wife wants to stay home, eat edibles and watch Netflix. This really isn’t my scene. What should I do?” Susan, what are your quick thoughts on this? And then we’ll get into this deeper.
Susan
As a single person, I don’t have anybody to answer to, but I can imagine that if you’re at this stage of life that you want to start trying something different and your spouse is comfortable and wants to sit on the couch, goodness, I think you have to leave them on the couch and just go do what you’re going to do.
Rob
Yeah, I totally agree. Everybody’s got their gig, but you just have to embrace it and live with it and learn how to do it together. So, you’ve got to sit on the couch periodically, but she’s got to get her butt off of the couch periodically. Respect her opinion and go try something new.
David
I’m going to be really judgmental here, but when I read all somebody wants to do is eat edibles and watch Netflix, I’m thinking there’s something else going on here.
Rob
It’s that for sure. If I were to do edibles, which I don’t; they just dull the senses, right? And then what are you watching? If you’re watching something that’s entertaining or you’re watching a documentary, you just watch. So yeah, maybe there’s more mental health issues going on than just watching television.
Susan
I don’t think you’re being judgmental. I think it’s a worrisome thing. I think it’s a crisis of comfort. I mean, edibles is one thing, but this idea of just sitting and watching TV is such an easy addiction. You know, you can just sit there forever and watch episodes. You know, that’s what people binge watch, right?
Rob
To that point, everything is a habit. Everything we do is a habit. If you get into the habit of doing edibles, watching Netflix, you’re missing out on a lot of life. You’re missing out on a lot of other things. And the poor partner that has to watch it. Oh, my goodness. That’s the problem. That’s where it becomes complicated. No, no, no.
Susan
I just say, don’t watch it. You know, you can effect change by getting up and doing something. And you’re not going to change necessarily that person by bitching at them or criticizing them, but getting up and being proactive and them maybe seeing you thriving —that, I think, is the best way to kind of reel them in to your side.
Rob
Right. And if you’re retired or going to retire soon, then the complications and the problem is magnified. So get out there and show a different way to live a life, for sure.
David
I agree. Live your life, show a positive example, but under no circumstances criticize your other half for what they choose to do. They need to feel loved and supported. If they want to eat edibles and watch Netflix and you go out and do your thing: “Hey, darlin, hopefully that’s working out for you. Can’t wait to see you tonight.”
Rob
I have a friend who’s a rock star. He’s a musician. All he wants to do is stay home and make music. His wife wants to travel. I met them at a luggage store. He was supporting her in her travel, her endeavor, what she was doing. And they did it together. So, while you may not want to sit and eat edibles, try to find those little commonalities within each of your hobbies to do together, just to keep connected.
Susan
And, I think, give each other permission to just do that, you know? I think it’s really effective if she’s sitting on the couch going, “He’s been gone for 3 hours. What’s up?” You know, all of a sudden I think it might provoke that person to say, “I’ll go with him next time,” or “Maybe I’m just a little jealous of what he’s doing and whatever it takes.” But I know criticizing or harping does not work.
David
No.
Rob
No. Reinforces bad behavior.
David
So, to wrap it up, do your own thing. Do what’s best for you. Take care of yourself. Try and support your spouse in whatever you can. Love them and get on with your life.
Susan
You must get on with your life.
Rob
Get on with it.
David
Guys, thanks so much. Everyone out there, thank you for joining us on Since You Asked. And we’ll have another great show next week. Until then, take care.
