When Dating Sites Fail You…
I signed up for one of those popular dating apps and specified I was looking for someone within 25 miles. The app has sent me profiles from a tristate area. I also get messages from women all over the US. It’s crazy and not helping me meet anyone locally who I could realistically date. Feeling out of options.
Dear Mr. Lonely:
Unfortunately dating sites are driven by algorithms not an old woman in a babushka reading profiles in a back room and carefully matching people. Where is that woman? I actually would pay extra for her or put her on retainer.
Mr. Lonely I have the same problem, as men from all over the country contact me. I am not driving 1,800 miles for a thirty minute coffee date. Unless it’s a Royal, eight miles is my limit.
Rumor has it pickleball is the new Studio 54. Everyone’s lovin’ it. Buy some equipment and get out there. Worst case you rupture your Achilles tendon and find a date in the ER.
Or get the truly devoted partner who will always love, stand by you, and attract women…a dog. You never know who you’ll serendipitously meet at the dog park. No algorithms necessary.
Can You Find Love Without a Porsche?
I thought a new car might attract women; a shallow notion but desperate times call for desperate expensive measures. I impulsively went out and bought a 911 Porsche. Should I include a picture of it in my profile? The red really shows up well in photos!
My latest impulse buy was a People Magazine at the CVS check-out counter.
I wish you had consulted me before you picked the red. I would have advised “Chalk” or “Night Blue Metallic.” They are more tasteful in my Porsche color opinion.
That being said my main concern is whether or not you can get out of the car without embarrassing or injuring yourself by having to roll out onto the ground and then standing. A consequence of older guys and sports cars. Does AAA have a fork lift for this occasion? I would definitely practice at home before you go on a date.
While you’re in the hospital with a fractured hip order that SUV.
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