This is a mesmerizing feed from a Columbia PhD psychologist about how to parent your kids. But it is way more than just that. It is about how to deal with stubborn boundary-pushing humans that you may find yourself interacting with. I don’t have kids, but I do have a few difficult people in my life who often behave like 4-year-olds. The same Dr. Becky stuff works seem to work on them.
When I watch her I often think of that large, spoiled, difficult child I live with: me. When she is talking about how to deal with her kid, I can’t help but think of the little buddy that lives inside me — that combative, selfish, difficult buddy that I bring with me everywhere. He is the one that says I must never go there, I will be shamed. The one who says I can never learn anything new, and if I try I will fail spectacularly, so don’t even try. The one who says: Who do you think you are to be so audacious?” The one who would rather stomp his feet and bellow rather than find a solution to a problem.
“Come on, little buddy. I know you don’t think we can do this, but let’s give it a go anyway”
Often I find myself muttering, “Come on, little buddy. I know you don’t think we can do this, but let’s give it a go anyway.” I acknowledge the fears, the false beliefs, all the past gunk that is causing him to want to cry out and say don’t go there. It’s so similar to how some little ones relate to bath time. She is educating parents on how to manage their kids, and I for one find it super helpful to use on the truculent little one that lives in my head.
It is in this spirit that I find myself binge-watching Dr. Becky. Her eye rolls, her awkward gestures, all add to the entertainment value and, truthfully, if she were less raw and more polished, it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun. So if you are feeling a bit like having a grand mal tantrum about something you feel particularly wronged about, I recommend a bit of Dr. Becky viewing. It will leave you with a smile.