Why Do Marriages End?: Mark Goulston

How do we relate better to all those around us? How can we become better listeners? Why do marriages end? What is the difference between feeling felt vs feeling understood? What are the gender differences when it comes to emotional intimacy? How do you properly respond to your partner’s emotions? Why don’t we understand how powerful disappointment can be in our lives? 

In this re-play episode, we are featuring one of the most popular podcasts we have done. Dr. Mark Goulston, psychiatrist and author, joins us on the SuperAge podcast to share his insights on these questions. Dr. Mark Goulston dropped out of medical school twice due to depression. After a school counselor believed in him and gave him another chance, he finished medical school and wanted to pay forward what that counselor gave him. That is exactly what he is doing with his current practice. Dr. Goulston uses his empathetic personality and ability to listen to navigate his patients’ issues from marriages to eating disorders to strained parent-child relationships to suicide.

Thank you to our sponsor InsideTracker. SuperAge listeners get 20% off all products here

What you will learn in this episode: 

  • How empathy and the ability to listen can help strengthen our relationships
  • Why some marriages end
  • Why strong personalities may have a more difficult time with emotionally intimate relationships, and how to overcome that 
  • The power of feeling felt vs feeling understood 
  • How to respond to your partner’s emotions

“Marriages don’t end because we stop loving each other, but because we stop feeling liked by each other.” 

“Alpha energy is great for success. It’s not good for closeness. You know, it’s good to have alpha energy. You can build something, you can build a business, you can grow it, you can sell it, you can do whatever, but it’s not that good for emotional intimacy.” 

“One of the reasons women will say ‘Don’t give me advice or solutions’ is because when they’re sharing something, they want to just feel less alone in the feeling, they want to feel felt by you, because if they feel felt by you, their oxytocin goes up, their cortisol goes down, their blood flow goes up to their brain, and then they can give themselves the advice they need.” 

Listen to the SuperAge podcast wherever you get your pods. 

Connect with Dr. Mark Goulston:
Website – https://markgoulston.com
Instagram – https://instagram.com/markgoulston?utm_medium=copy_link 
Twitter – https://twitter.com/markgoulston?s=11 
Read one of Dr. Goulston’s best-selling books – Just Listen
Listen to Dr. Goulston’s audio course Defeating Self-Defeat https://www.himalaya.com/courses/defeating-self-defeat-3129841?partner-from=15652260&utm_source=partner&utm_medium=mark_goulston

See medical disclaimer below. ↓


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The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.


Taylor Marks
Taylor Marks is a certified holistic health coach and professionally trained chef from The Institute of Culinary Education. Her passions include the latest research in health science, culinary arts, holistic wellness, and guiding others towards feeling their best.


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