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Tamsen Fadal, 53: The Accidental Menopause Advocate

Toward the end of her TV anchor career, Tamsen Fadal experienced a hot flash on air and had no idea what was happening to her. Being the always curious investigative journalist, she set out to ask questions and get answers. So far, her mission to understand menopause has culminated in a book and now a film, both of which are reaching women around the world and impacting more than just those seeking answers.

A few years back, Tamsen Fadal was mulling over the possibility of leaving her longtime TV news anchor position but didn’t really know what was next. Toward the end of her anchor career, she experienced a hot flash on air and had no idea what was happening to her. Being the always curious investigative journalist, her mission crystalized: to understand, for herself, as much as possible about menopause and then bring that information to as many people around the world as she could. 

Now there is a PBS documentary and a book, and Tamsen finds herself being an astoundingly well-conceded advocate for women’s health. She is one of those friendly, happy forces for good, who once they have the red thread of a mission, seem to be unstoppable. In such a wildly productive time of her life, she also found time to marry her great love. Next up: women’s workplace issues. Bring it on. 

Tamsen Fadal, menopause

How old are you?
Fifty-three.

How does it feel to be 53?
Almost 54. I feel good. I used to do that thing where I’m like: “Oh, gosh, my birthday’s coming up.” Now, I’m going to be 54 in 2 months! I’m excited. I feel good. I feel great, actually.

You’ve got a lot of stuff going on. You have a documentary. What’s your documentary?
The M Factor: Shredding the Silence on Menopause.

It seems like you’re getting global attention on this.
Really exciting. You and I have known each other for a while, and, when I started out, I was like, I’m going to interview some women and interview some doctors; maybe we’ll throw it up online and see what happens. I really got a lot of pushback on it. People were saying that there’s not really an audience for it. Who’s really going to watch it?

But it’s actually half the world. And then the other half knows somebody in menopause. It really affects a lot of people, and it affects women in a lot of ways. We got picked up by PBS; so, it’s airing on PBS starting on October 17th, depending on what city you’re in, and then PBS.org. And then we wanted to make sure that women could see it if they didn’t see it on television and have it in their own communities.

So we said, hey, if you want to see it in your community, let us know. And I’m still blown away when I say it out loud, but we’re in over 125 cities across the world right now. Internationally, people are reaching out from Paris and London and South Africa and Australia, and they’re holding screenings in their own communities of 100, 200.

Somebody in Washington said that they have 1,400 people coming. So we’ve got this incredible number of women that are coming together to see the film. Most of them are having panel discussions afterwards to answer a lot of questions that women might have and just see how they feel about it. It’s moved beyond a film at this point. It’s moved into conversations within all these communities. And it’s pretty cool.

Why did you decide to do this?
Oh, gosh, I don’t know. I’ve been a journalist my whole life, and I was asking questions, questions, questions. I asked a lot of questions online, interviewed a lot of doctors, and I realized I was doing it in these silos. I’d put it over here on Instagram, and I’d stick it on Facebook and put it in a newsletter. And then I was like, How come we don’t have this big thing, where it’s all the information together for women, with people who are the best experts that we should be listening to?

And so I partnered with a woman who was dealing with the same thing from the Today Show. Her name is Joanne LaMarca. She had left the Today Show after she was in menopause. We got together, and we started it at the end of the pandemic. We were going out on the street with our cell phones, interviewing women, and then we partnered with two women, one of whom is Denise Pines from the West Coast.

Denise has done quite a few documentaries and said she was working on hers. We were working on ours, and we were like, You know what? We’re going to do it together. And that’s what we did. We put our resources together and decided that this was a film. We were going to put everything into it. So for the last three years, that’s what we’ve been working on.

Tamsen Fadal, menopause

It took three years to make this film?
It did. Well, the first year was where we got a lot of like, No one’s going to watch. Who cares about that? There’s no audience for that. The second year was: Who do we need to talk to expert-wise? How do we get women to say they’re going to open up about what their experiences are? Because a lot of it’s emotional. You know, women are talking about the fact they haven’t had sex with their husbands for…they can’t remember the last time. Or, we have a young woman who’s in her early 30s who went into a medical menopause that no one told her about. No one told her that was going to happen.

We have Audra McDonald—the Broadway legend Audra McDonald—talking about how menopause changed her voice. And she was feeling not so confident. We really wanted to go in and pull from all these different areas so that everybody would see themselves in the film; and then editing it, putting it together, we wanted to make sure we had the experts going back and talking to the women. Yeah, it took a long time.

What was the hardest thing for you? What were the challenges Tamsen Fadal had to overcome to make this film?
Trying to put it all together. There was so much information for a small amount of time. That’s one—because there’s so much. And I think two was making sure that we had as much information as we could get into the film that would be helpful when a woman walks in and walks out of it. I didn’t want a woman to walk in and out and be like, I’m still confused.

I wanted them to walk out and go, Okay, now I have five more questions I’m going to ask my doctor, or, Hey, I feel a little bit better because I’m not the only one going through that. I think the overriding theme that I know you’ve probably heard by talking to women in this space or going through this is: I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like I was alone. And I’m totally confused about what is going on out there. I don’t know what to do. And as we see the market continue to grow, we see more and more companies coming online wanting to reach these consumers. And I think we just want to really make sure that we put purpose before anything else and make sure that these women have the information that they need.

I understand that the medical community has now looked at this film, and it’s part of an accreditation program.
Yeah—this was something I really didn’t know anything about, and I have to give my partner Denise credit. The film is the first menopause film to earn CME accreditation. We have a webinar that’s being held. It’s a live, free webinar, and doctors and healthcare providers can come to this webinar and get one or one and a half credits toward their AMA. It’s called a PRA category one credit toward the renewal of their medical license.

So that’s really interesting because the big part of the film is telling women that doctors didn’t have very much information either and that they weren’t really trained in medical school. Most of the training that they did, they did on their own as a result of lack of education or lack of research, lack of funding in this area, lack of care toward women’s health. I’m so grateful that we moved it to that next step to be able to help those doctors, too, because they want to learn, they want to know. They want it. Most are growing with their patients. Younger and younger women want this information. They don’t want to suffer.

The AMA must feel that your film is really needed.
Well, what was interesting about all this is that the Federation of State Medical Boards provides the CME credits. When Denise at first talked about it, I thought, How does that all work? I’m grateful that it’s so backed up and researched, and we have incredible experts.

We have Doctor Lisa Mosconi, a neuroscientist, who’s just brilliant. She has done so much research into women’s brains and estrogen. We have Doctor Stephanie Fabian with the Menopause Society. We have doctors all around the country. To bring their voices forward and give them that platform to then educate the next generation means that we’re moving this needle a little bit more than just shouting it out there.

Tamsen Fadal, menopause

In talking to all these experts, what did you find personally surprising? What sort of findings did you bring into your world that helped you change? What are you doing differently now?
I think there were a couple of things. I heard myself saying all along to women, “You’ve got to be your best advocate and get out there and know everything that’s going on and be able to go to the doctor’s office.” And I realized, I’d been saying it all along because I knew that that was the right thing, because there were a lot of doctors that didn’t know or were gaslighting women.

But I think when I came out of this film, I really realized that it is beyond true that you have got to do that. You’ve got to have that information. Otherwise, you’re just kind of, you know, lost. You’re feeling terrible, your hormones are chaotic, and then you’re being inundated the minute you look up perimenopause, right? You’re going to be inundated with a thousand things.

I think that what I came away with is that it’s more important than ever that women really understand what’s going on in their bodies, that they really understand the age. I think I came away with myself, doing it in all different areas, and making sure that I ask all the questions that I have to.

I guess part of my other area is women at work—that was something that was eyeopening to me. I knew about it, but I guess I didn’t realize how affected we are during this time, especially with our brains, especially with how our estrogen moves things, especially with brain fog. I learned a lot of different things in that respect—of understanding it a little bit more and feeling justified in feeling the way that I did. Justified: I think that’s a good word.

And you wrote a book?
I wrote a book. It’s all kind of in the same vein, right? Women’s healthcare, even in midlife. It sometimes feels like we’re no longer important. We just kind of fall off, and I think it’s women and it’s men, too, honestly, when it comes to aging, you know? Though men have so many more products available to them than women do. That’s really a lot of this fight. But the book is called How to Menopause—because we don’t know how to menopause. And somebody said, “Well, I don’t know if you’re using menopause the right way.” And I go, “I am using it the right way, because we don’t know how to do that, and we have to take charge of our health during this time.“

I interviewed 42 experts and I call it “Expert Driven, Girlfriend Approved”. I’m the girlfriend part and the experts speak for themselves. I’m excited about it. I want women to be able to open the book and not feel like, What am I looking at?

I want an actionable book: Here’s what to do when you can’t sleep. Here’s what to do when sex is not so fun anymore. Here’s what to do at work. Here’s what to do when it comes to the doctor’s office. It was important to me to really provide evidence-based tools and for women to not feel confused by it.

So let me get this straight: In the last three years, you’ve done a movie, a book, you left your job, and you got married?
I did. Right.

How do you manage your time?
You know, it’s funny, the other day I sat with my husband, Ira—we just had our anniversary on October 2nd—and somebody said, How long have you been married? And we both answered at the same time, and I was like, Four years. And he goes, It’s three. And so I went, Oh, it’s three. It feels like four. And he goes, I don’t know if that was a compliment or not. You know—it’s just a lot has happened during this time. I think, because of him, I feel relaxed in that way. I feel very supported. We have very different personalities, Ira and I, and he’s just got a great attitude about everything. I think it allows me to feel a little more relaxed about my day-to-day choices. I feel like it’s going to be okay even if it doesn’t go okay. I think that’s nice to have by your side.

Tamsen Fadal, menopause

How did you feel about yourself when you met Ira?
Oh, gosh. Oh, that’s deep. Let’s say I felt like I’ve got to do everything myself. I don’t need anybody. I’ve got this. I don’t want to get married, ever. And I’ve got it all under control, which it wasn’t under control. I didn’t feel so great about myself. I did want to meet somebody, but I was convincing myself I didn’t.

I think I felt afraid of getting back in a relationship because I had a not-so-friendly divorce. It took a lot of my confidence. It took a lot. It gave me a lot of fear, took a lot away from me financially.

I felt like I was just kind of coming back from all that. And I didn’t want to have any chaos in my life again. He was very patient in terms of waiting for me to learn who I was and learn that he was not there to hurt me in any way but to add to my life, not take away from it. There’s something really special about that.

I always say: How I feel about him is that I want to walk the world with him, and that’s kind of a cool way to say it. I think it’s different from what I said when I was 30. When I was 30, I was like, I want to meet somebody and it’s going to be perfect. We just have a fun time. It’s like a great time. I really look forward to spending every day with him. And that’s cool.

You’ve had this momentous three years. What does the next block of time look like?
I think that’s such a good question. I’m hopeful that we keep moving this needle forward, this conversation forward. I want to get on the road with the book once it comes out and just meet people and talk to them and hear where they’re at and what they need next.

The workplace is a big conversation for me. I’d really like to figure out what that looks like. I know that we all work in different workplaces, and I’m not naive enough to think we’re just going to have one policy and everyone’s going to follow it, because that’s not possible. But I would like to see what we can do to help women during this time of life because a lot of women are going to be in menopause or are going to start having perimenopause symptoms in their late 30s or early 40s.

Those are years where you’re like, Oh my gosh. I finally got this. I have the job I always loved—and now I can’t focus. I’m excited about trying to help them and trying to help the next generation and see where it leads me. And, you know, I love this. I love this area of figuring out how we can feel better, super-age. I look at my 84-year-old father, and he’s so awesome. He’s taking up new hobbies all the time. I think he’s doing it because he has the right mindset. I want to focus on having that. And then I want to focus on helping people have that.

What are Tamsen Fadal’s top three tips for a woman who’s feeling symptomatic and doesn’t know what to do?
Find somebody to talk to about it; don’t think you’re going to play whac-a-mole with your symptoms. You’ve got to go from here to here to here to here—find a doctor, figure out what is going on with you. If you’re in hormonal chaos, it’s probably those symptoms. If you have any one of the 34 menopause symptoms that we talk about, then you need to talk to somebody. Assume that’s where you’re at if you’re in your late 30s, early 40s, that’s probably what you’re dealing with. It’s perimenopause. Take that thing out of your mind that’s something’s wrong with you.

Find somebody who can help you with that. Lifestyle changes for me, like strength training and walking, have been the two big things I’ve added into my life. And then I think the third one is to have that community support. We did a survey recently and the number one thing women said that they wanted was community support.

I thought that was interesting because I kind of take that as a luxury in life. We’re all so busy running around, and we seen each other enough on Instagram, but women don’t feel like that. They feel like they really need that to be able to feel whole.

What are the three nonnegotiables for Tamsen Fadal?
Three nonnegotiables in my life? Oh, That’s good. My family time and Ira: Nonnegotiables. Nothing comes before that. And I get up in the morning and the first thing I do is get outside. I don’t care if it’s rain or shine. That’s why my hair looks like this right now. I get outside. Doesn’t matter to me. I want to see the light first thing in the morning. And I make sure that I take a little bit of that time to myself to work out. That’s a big deal to me.

What’s a phrase that would define you?
Live for some day today.

If I was going to give you a title, what would it be?
Midlife mentor. Menopause advocate. Women’s health care advocate. Any of those, I think. Filmmaker.

Connect with Tamsen Fadal:
Website
How to Menopause
The M Factor: Shredding the Silence on Menopause

See medical disclaimer below. ↓

1 COMMENT

  1. Just watched the documentary, it’s an eye-opener! Hope that we get more support for research and medical coverage. Women of all ages should have access to better health education and providers.

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The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

AUTHOR

David Stewart
David is the founder and face of AGEIST. He is an expert on, and a passionate champion of the emerging global over-50 lifestyle. A dynamic speaker, he is available for panels, keynotes and informational talks at david@agei.st.

 

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