Karen Walrond, 57: Raising Hell & Cultivating Joy

Karen Walrond is out to “raise a little hell”. The attorney, author, and speaker is measuring her life by her standards: It’s how she feels about herself, and how much she likes her own face, body, and spirit rather than what society tells her she should look like or how she should live. This Trinidadian is living in her authenticity and integrity, cultivating joy as much as she possibly can—which includes getting her yearly temporary tattoo. For her, aging is living, and to not enjoy aging is to negate living. 

Her latest book, Radiant Rebellion, a silver winner in the “Aging Consciously” category of the 2024 Nautilus Book Awards, investigates how we can resist ageism, create powerful futures, and live a light-filled life along the way.

How old are you?
Fifty-seven. And a quarter.

Where do you live?
H-Town, baby. Houston, Texas.

Married? Kids? Dogs?
I’ve been married for 22 years to my Marcus, and we have a daughter, Alexis, who’s 20. My husband is English, I’m Trinidadian, and our daughter is American, so we’re a mini United Nations. We also have a supermutt named Soca. She is a fluffy, black, energetic 8-year-old dog, that we think is a cockapoo. Honestly though, because she was rescued from the Houston SPCA, we’re not actually sure.

Some people may feel unseen after a certain age. How do you feel about your visibility?
Honestly, I’ve never really understood this. I’ve certainly felt unseen in my life. Those times happened at various ages—in adolescence, at a brand new job out of college, even sometimes being the only woman in a male-dominated field. But I learned early on that my visibility is completely within my control. I learned that while folks might attempt to not see me, it’s well within my power to be seen. As I get older, I feel very visible. I’m visible in a way that I determine, in the way I want to be seen. It’s super powerful, really.

How do you see integrity and authenticity as they relate to getting older?
I can’t imagine an age where integrity and authenticity aren’t important. I hope that when we’re younger, we become clear about who we are and what we stand for. This way, when we’re older, integrity and authenticity are simply second nature.

Help us understand how you see passion. Is it different than purpose?
Passion is what we love to do—the things we’d do even if we weren’t paid to do them. Purpose is how we use those passions in service of our communities and the world. Practicing our passions is a form of self-care. Practicing our purpose is how we leave the world better for having been here.

Where do you find joy today? What is your advice to others on finding joy in their lives?
I like to distinguish joy from happiness. Happiness is transient and generally occurs because of an external event: I’m happy when the barista gets my order right. When friends remember my birthday. When I get a tax refund.  Joy, on the other hand, is different and is often derived from meaning and purpose. In other words, internal aspects of my life. I measure my joyful life based on the frequency with which I express gratitude or practice my purpose. This means doing things like mentoring or coaching or giving myself to a cause important to me. And I think that’s something that most people confuse: joy isn’t found, it’s cultivated. It’s about acknowledging where we’re lucky or privileged and the gifts that come into our lives. It’s about cultivating important relationships and doing fun work in service of others. When we do that, joy just grows.

Tell us about your decision to go grey.
Like over 70% of women in America, I dyed my hair for a long time, mostly because I considered it a form of grooming, like getting regular haircuts. But I began to dye my hair more and more often, and I questioned the frequency:  Why was I spending the money to dye my hair? What would happen if I just stopped? 

So, I decided to stop when I was around 54, mostly as an experiment to see how I felt and get curious about my reaction to seeing my white hair. I figured if, for any reason, it felt too overwhelming, I could always return to dyeing it. It turns out that I love my silver hair. As someone who never played with dye colors and always dyed my hair the natural color of my youth, having white hair feels very punk rock for me. I’ve never even considered going back.

You have a fantastic tattoo on your chest. Is there a story with it?
It’s funny—the tattoo was temporary and doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t have any permanent tattoos. But, every year on my birthday, as a form of self-care and as a form of honoring my ancestors, I get mehndi—henna body art that is practiced in South Asia and Africa, both regions of which are part of my ancestry.

I’ve been doing this for over a decade, and I have a wonderful henna artist whom I’ve gone to every year, except for lockdown. I usually go to her with an intention that I’ve given myself for the coming year and let her interpret my intention on a part of my body—often my shoulders or back, or, this year, my chest—however she likes. There’s something really magical about sitting in a beautiful space, with incense burning and soothing music playing, while an angelic soul paints gorgeous designs on your body. The art lasts for about 10 days, and it’s become my favorite little personal, annual tradition.

How are you “raising a little hell”?
“Raising a little hell”, for me, means rejecting societal ideas of what it means to get older, or even “age gracefully”, or “age successfully”—phrases which are often coded with ageist undertones. We are aging from the moment we’re zygotes; the idea that there’s some moment in time when we should suddenly fear the natural process of living is ridiculous to me. I measure my living by my standards: how I feel and how much I like my face, body, and spirit. I raise hell, in part, by not considering what society tells me I should look like or how I live: I simply live in my authenticity and integrity and cultivate joy as much as I possibly can.

How do you view adventure? Big, small, occasional, or frequent? What are you planning?
Adventure is about being curious about new experiences, and I’m a big believer in them. I feel like every new year (whether it begins in January or my birth month of July), I contemplate what adventures I can create for myself for the coming year. Sometimes it’s about travel, but sometimes it’s about the evolution of my work or a new book that I’m writing. These days, a huge adventure that we’re planning is what will happen in a few years when my husband and I retire; and, right now, it appears that it will involve an international move back to my husband’s homeland. But that’s a few years away and not in the immediate future. Still, we’re having fun dreaming about it!

What assumptions of age were holding you back, and how are you pushing against them?
I’ve never been a person who worried about getting older, but when I wrote Radiant Rebellion, I learned that this didn’t preclude me from holding ageist perspectives myself. For example, when I was interviewing anti-ageism activist Ashton Applewhite, she mentioned that one of the most prevalent ageist things that she hears people say is the phrase, “I don’t feel old.” I was confused because it was a phrase that I used all the time. She gently pointed out that when I said that, I probably meant things like I don’t feel invisible, or I don’t feel irrelevant, or I don’t feel sexy. “I don’t know about you,” she said, “but I remember feeling invisible, irrelevant, [and] unsexy when I was thirteen. Those aren’t age-related terms. We use the word ‘old’ as shorthand for ‘bad’ and ‘young’ as shorthand for ‘good’, and we don’t even think about it.” This was a MIND-BLOWING revelation to me, and, because I believe in the power of words, I’ve been extremely careful about how I’ve used them since.  (And, honestly, pointing out when others use the words old and young in these shorthanded ways is another way I “raise a little hell”!)

What is your biggest challenge today?
Right now, I’m in the process of editing a new book, and, while rewarding, book writing is always challenging.

What are your daily self-care practices?
One self-care practice that I pretty consistently try to do is ask myself the following three questions, every day: How can I feel healthy? How can I feel connected? How can I feel purposeful? The answers to these questions always go on my daily to-do lists. Sometimes the answers to these questions are big  (hit the gym, take a family member out to dinner, or volunteer work), but sometimes, because of my schedule, the answers might be small (drink extra water, send an email to a friend, donate to an important cause). The point is, however, that, every day, I check in with myself to take care of my health, relationships, and spirit, and I find that the daily check-in is, in itself, a form of self-care.

Top three inspirations in your life.
I’m really lucky to be surrounded by really inspirational people. My husband Marcus’s authenticity, the integrity of my friends Laura and Asha, and the way my friend Mark cares for the relationships in his life are all super inspirational to me. 

What are the three nonnegotiables in your life?
I believe in a good night’s sleep, standing in my integrity, and kindness being a powerful move. All of these are nonnegotiables.

Connect with Karen:
Website
Books