How about becoming the go-to authority on a new technology when you’re often the oldest person in the room? Social media is often thought of as a young person’s world, but why? There is some thinking around people being born digitally native, and there are advantages to having grown up with an iPhone in one’s pocket. However, at its core, social media is about storytelling. So if one comes at it from that point of view, age is irrelevant. The connection between viewer and creator is only dependent upon the resulting emotional resonance. Enter: Helen Polise.
At 63, Helen is a social media teacher, a social media personality, and a social media advocate. She uses social platforms as a way to connect people around the world with positivity and to level-up their knowledge. Her TV background was a huge plus, but it is her fearlessly fun way of sharing her life journey that resonates with her people. This included some rough stuff, like sharing her sudden onset of lymphoma and her journey overcoming it.
Tell us about your career background pre social media.
I like to say I’ve been doing social media videos since the ’80s. In my first job in advertising, one of my responsibilities was to edit 60- and 30-second commercials down to 15-second versions! So, in essence, I have been preparing for TikTok for 40+ years! I started as a producer and followed the path to become a director. I worked with brands like Sensodyne, Pronamel, Blistex, Hasbro, NFL Alumni, and more. My specialty is in authentic content, which also leads perfectly into where I landed on social media. My profile is: @themuthership on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube.
“In essence, I have been preparing for TikTok for 40+ years!”
How and why did you start using social media?
During the pandemic, when production came to a halt, I leaned into social media for my creative fix. I also ventured onto TikTok to find out what that platform was all about. I grew a community pretty quickly through sharing household tips and baking content. However, I soon realized it was my video editing style combined with an authentic presentation that held my followers’ attention. They soon asked how I was doing the video tricks and transitions. Once I shared a tutorial and my account exploded. When a follower commented “Our TikTok teacher is here,” I knew I was onto something special.
My community grew thousands at a time with each tutorial I shared. However, I wanted to keep a balance in my content. I continued to post my lifestyle videos, daily dances with strangers in NYC, random family fun, and general vlog style content. I kept the tutorials coming every few videos. This kept my core audience engaged, since they followed me to learn. I also didn’t want to limit the joy of creating which, for me, came from doing lots of different content.
“In June 2022, things were hitting an all-time high on TikTok…That is when I started to lose my eyesight.”
When you were diagnosed with lymphoma, you shared your entire journey on social media. How did your sharing affect your recovery?
In June 2022, things were hitting an all-time high on TikTok. I was invited to speak at conferences and film TikToks for big brands. I was even considering the idea of getting an agent. That is when I started to lose my eyesight. Within a 3-week period, I went from perfectly healthy to legally blind and it was terrifying. I recorded a daily vlog as my sight worsened. At the time I wasn’t sure I would be able to edit and share the content.
The diagnosis of lymphoma came almost as a relief because it presented me with a diagnosis and plan for treatment. With a few rounds of radiation, I was blessed to get my sight back slowly. Once I chose to edit and share my vlog of the experience it went viral. I knew then I had an additional purpose on my social channels now. This was to share my cancer journey in real time for my sweet, supportive followers.
“Within a 3-week period, I went from perfectly healthy to legally blind and it was terrifying”
I kept up with my tutorial content but, along with that, my feed contained daily updates combined with some humor about my treatment, hair loss, the ups and downs and “real life’ of radiation and chemo, and week’s stay in the hospital with pneumonia.
My community was made up of the most supportive, kind, caring and generous ‘strangers on the internet’ who were with me every step of the way. Many commented with sentiments such as “I followed you to learn about TikTok, but I’m here now to learn about life.” They were with me every step of the way and shared my joy when I rang that chemo completion bell!
Talk to us about authenticity and how it applies to social media.
Some of the earliest feedback on my videos was related to authenticity. I believe it is much easier to be authentic as we age — there is a level of confidence that can’t be taught; it must be lived. I know who I am and I don’t have to try to be someone or keep up with an image. It’s very freeing when I turn on my (phone) camera because it immediately becomes like an imaginary friend. I feel so comfortable being myself, I don’t feel that I have to act a certain way or be like someone else. Each day I show up as 100% me and I have become so much less and less critical of myself as my on-camera presence has blossomed.
I think that’s actually the gift I have gotten in return by being present on social media.
“Social media is not for your friends and family. I feel that the purpose is to find and be present for those who need you”
What is the value of being on TikTok? Talk us through why a person would want to do this.
Social media is not for your friends and family. I feel that the purpose is to find and be present for those who need you. It allows us to connect with people from all parts of the world, and help others in a way that has never been possible before.
My tutorials have reached Nigeria, the Philippines, Dubai and beyond — and the followers in these countries make sure to tell me how grateful they are. I have heard from several people that if I were their secondary school teacher, they would be in a much different place. It’s so moving when I see little children in Singapore using my videos to do a fun trend! On top of all that, we can hear all sides of an issue — I’ve heard stories from friends who have been touched by something that completely changed how they perceived it prior. That is powerful stuff.
“I feel energized and excited to show up for the community that is counting on me!”
What are some of the challenges you faced in becoming well known on social media?
The challenges have been minimal, if any. I don’t feel pressure to show up. It’s the opposite: I feel energized and excited to show up for the community that is counting on me! When I was offline for 3 weeks as I lost my eyesight, many of my followers came to my account to ask if I was ok. It was so incredible to realize the impact I had to the point where I was missed because I had not posted in a few weeks.
Of course I have been conscious of setting boundaries for my own privacy, but I do feel very lucky thus far that the response to my content is so positive. And my page is not controversial, so there is no real hate to speak of other than the occasional age-referenced insults.
“My teaching style is kind and welcoming and I know that is a big part of the success I’ve seen on TikTok.”
How do you help people understand what sort of tech skills are needed to have a social media presence?
My platform: HelloSocialize.com has FREE learning to make everything accessible to anyone, any age or skill level, who wants to learn. My teaching style is kind and welcoming and I know that is a big part of the success I’ve seen on TikTok.
I record a twice weekly podcast along with a twice weekly social media forecast in the form of an email newsletter so I can reach my audience even when the social media algorithm is not delivering my content to my audience. Socialize was seed-funded through a connection that came via TikTok, proving that the platform has a lot more reach in a real way for businesses.
My daughter Juli is our creative director and, as my fellow content queen, she keeps the Socialize content flowing. We have a rhythm for working together that is seamless and we also have a mother-daughter podcast we release weekly which is so authentic because we don’t prepare or script any of it! Yours Truly With Helen and Juli
Since my online presence has deemed me a social media expert, I’m now booking speaking engagements and I have consistent work as a director of social media content for big brands.
“Just when I thought I might be ‘aging out’ of the young production business, I’m the most relevant person in the meetings”
Just when I thought I might be ‘aging out’ of the young production business, I’m the most relevant person in the meetings 🙂 I have some funny stories I can share about that!
What are some of the challenges people face when wanting to establish a social media presence for the first time?
I think many people are scared to put themselves out there; they worry about being judged and are usually their own worst critic! We are all wrought with insecurities — “I’m not good enough, smart enough, tech-savvy enough, attractive enough,” etc — but, in fact, we all have something valuable worth sharing. And now we have such an amazing way to reach the corners of the world so easily. It’s incredible.
“In my experience, the TikTok algorithm is the most robust for quick growth on a social media app as compared to Instagram and YouTube”
How would you compare TikTok, Instagram and YouTube?
In my experience, the TikTok algorithm is the most robust for quick growth on a social media app as compared to Instagram and YouTube. However, I always recommend leaning into your favorite and pushing the content out to the others to round out your presence. Some of my videos that don’t do well on TikTok will perform much better on Instagram or YouTube, so having a plan to spread the net a little wider keeps the opportunities more open and allows me to swim with the tide.
What’s up with that video naming you granfluencer? How do you feel about that?
How can I say this tactfully: I hate it. And not because the idea of being a grandparent isn’t a wonderful thought — I hope to be a grandmother eventually. But not everyone over 50 years old is a grandparent. My social media content and expertise comes from my production background combined with my interest in technology, not a number of years on the planet. I’m teaching young and old people alike how to make content because I have the knowledge and experience. It has nothing to do with being a ‘granny.’
“Too much planning can prohibit creativity, so it’s very different for each person depending upon what they want to share with their audience.”
Younger influencers are not put in categories like millennial-fluencers, or Z-fluencers, they are just ‘influencers’ so why are people 50+ put into a bucket with the label calling out age? Not ok.
How do you counsel people about what to share and what not to? Is over sharing possible?
It’s so personal for each individual. I always suggest you just start and see where your content takes you. Too much planning can prohibit creativity, so it’s very different for each person depending upon what they want to share with their audience. My own feed started out in a much different place than where I am now. It’s definitely an evolution.
“Every day is different. I’ve always got multiple things happening at once”
Is there a difference for you between social life and real life?
No. Haha. True answer. I document and share as I go when I feel inspired to do so. If I’m with people who prefer not to be on camera, I respect it and I move on. Nothing is forced — it’s fun, it’s free, it’s joyful, it’s real.
Tell us about your day-to-day. What would a typical day be like for you?
Every day is different. I might be in the midst of a TV commercial project, or working with a brand on a social media production. I’ve always got multiple things happening at once.
Twice per week, I record The Socialize Podcast episodes for release on Tuesdays and Fridays. And I look forward to it like sitting down with a friend for coffee. I get on the mic and talk all things social media — and there is always something different to chat about!
The podcast goes in tandem with the bi-weekly Socialize Forecast newsletter which has grown from zero to almost 20k subscribers in just a few months.
I consistently release 2-3 tutorials per week on TikTok and Instagram — they then go to YouTube as well.
When things get overwhelming, I take a pause and make a quick piece of content just for the fun of it, or I’ll hop on TikTok live to connect with my community! I also host monthly live editing workshops which fuel the teacher in me!
“I’m told I have a smile-resting-face”
Having recovered from lymphoma, how has it affected your self-care practices?
This may seem odd but, even though I learned so much from having cancer, it has not changed who I am from before to after.
Pre-cancer, I was always happy to my core; I’m told I have a smile-resting-face. I have always prioritized exercise, eating healthy, I love my work, so I never felt overly stressed.
For a few months post-chemo, when I had to look at myself in the mirror without hair and watch it grow back, I was scared that I might never feel the way I did pre-cancer. I was deeply sad at times and worried that I had lost Happy Helen. But I just kept going, one day at a time, with blinders on, pushing through, making content, documenting and sharing.
And as time passed, I finally started to feel like myself again. I remember those days so clearly; but now, I’d say my life is not different from before to after. The only difference is when I hear the words ‘cancer survivor’ sometimes it hits me that I am one now 🙂
“I love experiencing things as I capture them with my phone because it puts me MORE into the moment and makes me almost hyper aware of how amazing every day is”
What are some of your guilty pleasures?
Well, I don’t watch reality TV, but having the freedom to scroll on TikTok is a guilty pleasure! I love it — the entertainment, the learning, the connection with like-minded and non-like-minded people is enlightening!
Hopping on a plane to LA without warning to watch my daughter perform standup — that would count as a guilty pleasure. At least it feels that way when I fly across the country for a 3-day weekend 🙂
What about you do people not know that would be surprising?
I have tried to explain to friends that I have always seen things through a camera lens — even as a 20-something riding the subway to class at NYU. As an undergrad, I would wear my Sony Walkman (remember those?) and see the subway ride as if it was a music video. I love experiencing things as I capture them with my phone because it puts me MORE into the moment and makes me almost hyper aware of how amazing every day is. And yes, I was like this well before my bout with cancer 🙂 It’s how I’m wired.
“I love experiencing things as I capture them with my phone because it puts me MORE into the moment”
What are some of your ambitions for the next 10 years?
In terms of the business, the power of creating a larger community is more important to me than creating paid courses. I hope to grow my audience and influence so that I can monetize the newsletter and podcast on a larger scale.
On a personal level, I want to travel more and find a better work-life balance. Right now I work a lot, because I love it and I’m so passionate about it. But I want to make sure I’m enjoying the downtime as well, so I’m focused on creating more downtime!
What are 3 non-negotiables in your life?
Running — it’s like my meditation.
Family — spending time with my husband and our 3 littles who are now my adult besties.
Dancing. No one’s gonna stop me, whenever, wherever.
The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.
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