David Applebaum, 66: Living the Dream

One of the less-mentioned definitions of the word surrender is to lay down arms and switch over to the winning side. Often in life, the things we feel most central to who we are really are not. We don’t get a chance to understand what is of value until the fluff is stripped away. This is the story of David Applebaum who thought he had the life he dreamed of until—as the result of a divorce—the grand signifiers of that life were removed. But then he found himself in a better place, one he could have only ever imagined. 

For an architect of some renown to lose the house and studio that he and his now-ex-wife had carefully made for themselves, only to discover that, in of all places, living in a mobile home by the beach was so much better was a revelation. Having an impressive skill set for space and design, his double wide has been turned into a light-filled sanctuary, surrounded by the sort of community we all dream of. One thing that was not taken from him was his spirit of curiosity, exploration, and collaboration, which, along with an enduringly strong relationship with his son, has powered David to a happiness he never imagined. The future is bright if we choose to see it. 

How old are you?
I am 66 years old.

Where are you from?
I was born in Houston, completed my undergraduate studies at Texas A&M. I was always curious about living in Los Angeles, so I attended UCLA for my master’s degree in architecture. With the exception of a year and a half in NYC working on stores and showrooms for ESPRIT, I’ve never left Southern California.

You experienced a divorce just as you were becoming well-known as an architect. Tell us about that experience and where it left you.
It seemed tragic at first, but, in the end, the divorce allowed me a change in my second chapter that I have to think made my life better. I have found that focusing on the positive is a much better way to live. I am in a good place. And I have learned that whenever I am in that good place, I trace my steps and realize it was a hardship that altered my course to get me to the good. So now when I have a challenge, I try to remember that the bad doesn’t last. If it’s not good at the moment, in time, it’s going to be something that will lead toward a good place. I had to strip my practice down to the bones. And I had to move out of the house and the office that I designed. I thought those things might destroy me, but they only had me realize what was truly important: purpose in your pursuits, a warm circle of friends, and a good place to be. One consistent positive during this transition was the close relationship that continues to this day with my son. He is a wonderful, creative, and hardworking young man, and I am so proud to be his dad, and, just last week, a proud father-in-law too.

How did you decide to start over career-wise following your divorce?
I found myself in this new place. Society had also changed, as it is discussed at AGEIST every week. What used to be valued—and by this I mean talent, dedication, hard work, and sacrifice— was being replaced with cheap, quick, and loud. Yes, I did consider transitioning into a new profession. But I had a strong body of work. And I had a lot of experience having designed everything from a tiny but adorable gatehouse to a massive 30,000 square-foot estate. If someone like Frank Sinatra thought I should work with him a second time, then maybe this architecture venture was worth a second attempt. My career was at a turning point just when I needed some time to step away and find myself before I could find my second chapter voice. It seemed that my best choice was to start over just like the time I first hung my shingle. You know how we all say, “If I only knew then what I know now?” From my core, I knew I would be okay because this time I could do it knowing what I know now. 

Tell us about what you know now that you didn’t know earlier.
First and foremost, a great project has as much to do with the client as the architect. So now I turn down more work than I ever have. It is so much better to be available for the really great projects. I would rather spend time in my garden than do something I don’t love.

Also, I realize why my field is termed “the practice of architecture”. Like everything else, it’s never perfect. But if we practice diligently, appropriately, and patiently, maybe we can get closer to perfect with each project.

And finally, now I recognize that I have no desire to be famous. Young architects are conditioned to think they must aspire for fame in order to be considered successful. That is not true. Now I devote myself to making my client’s dreams come true. Though many of the clients you’ll see on my resume are famous (even household names), experience has freed me from the idea that fame is the mark of a good architect. My raison d’être is the unique opportunity I have to create something personal, meaningful, comfortable, and joyful for my clients. Happy clients: That is success.

How are you handling your clients now as opposed to before?
Luckily, I don’t have to “handle” my clients. They are one of the joyful reasons I wake up every day. I get to create for and with them. I don’t have to try to show them what I can do, I just create the best final product I can for them. And it’s fun getting to work with the many great clients I have been blessed to share my journey with. There were a few I took for the wrong reasons, but I no longer invite them in. My clients are relationships I keep for life. Sometimes I get calls thanking me for creating the environment for their special moments, sometimes even years after a project’s completion. I treasure this. It is endlessly satisfying to me. Personally, I much prefer human “likes” to likes on my social media. Call me old school but I’d rather be the first architect people I respect think about as wonderful than the first architect listed on Google.

How do you select your projects?
I listen. I listen to what potential clients are saying and not saying. It takes empathy and sometimes prescience to understand what their needs and desires are. And then I have to be intrigued. Is this a client who can speak about creating something that is aspirational? Or is this person just offering a list of meaningless safe choices with no willingness to dream for big and important things for themselves? Dreamers and stereotype-breakers are interesting to me. Projects I select break the mold of what may generally be seen as the norm: They have a meaning and connection with the client’s soul. When a client asks about me and my process, I often describe who I am and how I work by sharing this with my clients: What most people see as just a door knob, I see as a handshake that welcomes one into a new and different space. If they “get it”, I am in. With everything I have. The truth is that for almost every person, their home is the single largest expenditure of their lives. It is where one is nurtured to live one’s best life, and it is unique to every single one of us. I am simply providing a service that allows them to best express their life and style. If I do my job correctly, the friends visiting your home will not say, “I can see that your home is a David Applebaum design”. They will say, “This home is so you”.

Where do you get your confidence and how is it changing how you work?
Creative work is different because it is so subjective. Great design doesn’t follow a formula or can be broken down in mathematical terms. Something one person thinks is beautiful another might not. I have seen so many designers who get touchy if you question their ideas. That notion doesn’t bother me anymore. I remember decades ago when I was designing an Academy Award-winning actor’s house. There were times I would wake up in the middle of the night wondering, What if I cannot make magic? After a month of this, I had an epiphany: I’ve somehow pulled the rabbit out of the hat every time previous…I will work hard and do it again. I am not saying I do not ever get nervous, but I can say that I have slept well from that night forward. Sure, I have sweated out more hours than I can count with my nose to the grindstone, but never in fear or doubt. I expect the best will come and it does.

I have also had the time and experience to find out what kind of architect I am. Over the years, I have discovered that I am more of an “inside-out” designer. While most architects concern themselves with the postcard snapshot of the façade, I do not. I am confident in my ability to make the outside look good. So, I prefer to work from the inside out. To me, the flow, scale, and rhythm of the spaces must be choreographed into something that says who and what the spaces are about. Only then do I work on the outward appearance. As with life, knowing who you are is the key to one’s confidence.

Tell us about your mobile home lifestyle on PCH.
When I first opened my studio, I was told to have a mission statement (which I think we now call a brand). What I came up with over 40 years ago is this: Live Where You Love – Love Where You Live. I felt it necessary to live what I preached. And it is so much easier to live a good life when you have a really good home. I was not swimming in funds while searching in Los Angeles—a really hard market to get into, or back into (which is another discussion for another time). I spent years and years searching for anything I could fashion into something worthy of living my best life in. As I am never shy about going way outside of the box, I found myself looking at the most vanilla, unusual, and even scary spots, willing to create what I call the “Karate Kid experience”. Something akin to Mr. Miyagi’s place: looking one way on the outside but magical once you passed through the doors.

One day, I was having a chat with my friend Mike Post. He’s not just a creative genius, he is one of the nicest humans on earth. I think we were talking about our kids, and then I started hearing his theme for the Rockford Files in my head. The Jim Rockford character lived in a mobile home on the beach, and I realized I hadn’t looked in that direction. Mobile homes are particularly challenging because they are mass-produced and pretty much uninspired; even on the beach, it is still just a box. It took a while, but, well, let me first paint a picture with this one sentence. The front door entry was also the laundry room! So I did what I do: I converted the dining room into an entry that opened directly into the living spaces; I expanded the windows and huge operable skylights.

I could go on and on, but I will share why I chose this one. It had just enough land around it so that I could integrate the interior with the decks and gardens. My home now feels much larger, brighter, warmer, and is perfect for living in Los Angeles at the beach. It is a great place to have friends over and enjoy ourselves. Even my mansion-living clients tell me that this home is enviable. As a bonus, I live in one of the greatest cities in the world, and yet it feels more like a village to me. I live close enough to the store, post office, bank, restaurants, and, of course, the beach. I get to hike and bike my way to everything. It is healthy for my body, my mind and my spirit, so I rarely use my car, except for business. 

What is it about being older that you find most surprisingly satisfying?
That I still feel the same as I did in my 20s. Sometimes I do not recognize the guy looking back at me in the mirror, but other than that…it just feels like a few months have passed. I am just as excited about my path as I have ever been. When I was younger, I had enough enthusiasm to take on anything. But now, my life is better. I have a stronger sense of self, I can do more effectively, and I am happy. Happiness goes a very long way. Life is like juggling. You start off with just one tennis ball, then you get good enough for two and so on. Now I can juggle those two tennis balls, a bowling pin, an ax, and three flaming torches with confidence and flair. I no longer wonder if I can do more when I get older; I only wonder what magic I can pull out of the hat next. 

Another surprise is us. Those of us that are older make up a hip, warm, and intelligent population. Thank you, AGEIST, for giving a voice to those of us who aren’t living our past glory days but creating wonderful present days. I read about it here, and I see it on my street too. I have so many new friends in my average neighborhood who are living their best lives in their second and even their third chapters. Ray will proudly flex for you because he jogs and lifts weights in his mid-90s, and Lee just turned 100 and—until a few years ago—was a world-class medal-winning world champion in badminton and ping pong. The positivity is captivating.

Describe to us your typical day.
Every morning I get to wake up to sunlight bathing the gardens and remember why I chose to live this purpose. I don’t like starting my day opening emails, but sometimes I must. Otherwise, it’s inspirational and grounding readings and meditation. Then I get to create. It might be drawing or building a model (yes, some of us still work old school). If I’m lucky, I get to visit job sites. The difference between me and an artist is that I have to meet building codes, stay within budget, and have other people fabricate the work; so, I love dealing with the workers. They make the idea into something real, and they get a stake in making the project better. I also make sure to find time to hike or swim. Being active and taking breaks is important; listening to my body is something else I have learned with age. I love to cook, so you’ll find me playing in the kitchen as the sun sets. Sitting on the deck or in the garden, eating, and talking is such a great way to transition and wind down.

What are your ambitions for the next 10 years?
I am not big on specific goals but positive directions that can shift as needed. I hope to always be grateful, have purpose, and, well, be happy. And I would like that for everyone, not just me. I hope to stay creative and have been thinking about getting back into welding and other sculptural pursuits. I would like to be the person people look forward to seeing entering the room, not exiting it. Moreover, I would like to be a better dad, a better architect, a better partner, and a better friend. Presently, I am trying to learn Japanese. Even if it’s just a pipe dream, maybe there is a chance to live in Kyoto for a while and help tend to one of the great gardens there. When I do, you can come visit and I’ll give you the nickel tour.

What are your three nonnegotiables in life?
1) Giving yourself permission to dream big and do big things. 2) Always expect the best and then get it with gratitude. 3) Create every day.

Connect with David:
Website
Instagram

Main image by Adam Sheridan Taylor.