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Shenpa: Our Triggers, Urges, and That Sticky Feeling

On understanding what makes us close down in order to open up and let go

In the midst of movement and chaos keep stillness inside of you.”

– Deepak Chopra

I learn about life from my horses. They have allowed me to see differently and, ultimately, face my true nature. Initially, I learned to cowboy up and sought to show my strength and dominance by teaching them. I led with an “I’ll show you” attitude. And then my thoughts changed. 

To interact with an animal ten times my own body weight, I needed to get smarter. How could I get a horse to do what I wanted, as simply as possible? 

Communicating willingly with any sentient being requires a developed awareness and discipline to keep the understanding active. We cannot expect any being to give us something we cannot access ourselves. For example, to get respect, we need to have it for ourselves first.

For a relationship like the one I now have with my horses, I first needed to learn to speak their language. I began to observe how they moved and interacted within their herd. Their communication, for the most part, was quiet, through mannerisms alone: a flick of an ear, a sway of their body. Their energy projected would alert the others of their intentions.

To communicate with these beings, I needed to learn to control my reactions. I needed to not overreact to a situation or allow myself the urge to react without consciousness. You know the feeling when you know you shouldn’t do something or say one last thing? That’s an urge. And that is one of the things I needed to control.

In Buddhism, shenpa, a Tibetan word, roughly translates to “the urge, the hook, that triggers our habitual tendency to close down”. The arms fold across the chest. A stance is taken. The jaw tenses. We may lose eye contact. When we finally find the courage to speak up and are immediately told to be quiet, what happens? Our faces may flush; we feel a pit in our stomachs. We feel defeated and get stuck in…a feeling.

Shenpa is often referred to as the “sticky feeling”, and anything can get us stuck. Even something minor like getting a scratch on our car or making a mistake at work can leave us stuck in these emotions. When this closing down happens and our feelings shut down, we tighten up. We cannot receive if we have shut our ears, closed our minds, and barricaded our hearts. After all, when a muscle is tight, it becomes rigid.

To become receptive and open-minded, we need to be relaxed. As Pema Chödrön says: “To get unhooked we [must] begin by recognizing that moment of unease and [must] learn to relax in that moment.” 

Understanding shenpa was vital in my understanding of not only my horses but also myself. I had to learn how to become quiet within and hear what was non-verbally spoken. The more silent I became, the more evident my inner life became: the parts I hid away from myself, my fears, frustrations, and insecurities. They also stood in my way of clarity. This is where I uncovered shenpa: the urges, triggers, and sticky things that hooked me into reacting in specific ways.

Quietness is being in a zone where we are focusing on something with intention—anytime, anywhere. Learning how to be quiet changed how I moved around my horses. I developed patience for them that I did not have for myself, and, consequently, with time, I learned to become softer with myself, to let go.

First, I needed to understand myself, my agenda, and, most importantly, my triggers or shenpa to move forward. Then, to be open, I needed to let go. This was also shenpa: letting go of the attachment to things that were no longer helpful to my well-being.

Initially, we need to recognize what we are doing. And it may not feel effortless at first, as we often set our expectations and then want things immediately to go that way. But if we slow down, we can put aside our anticipation of what we think should happen. If we replace our preconceived notions of how long it will take and what it should be like, and allow whatever needs to be to be, a knowing unfolds. 

When I remove my plan, the horses feel it. They relax because I have removed the expectations that weigh heavy on not just me but them too. This approach applies to all relationships. Letting go of attachment to the outcome makes room for what is necessary. 

When we learn to control ourselves when we are all worked up, that is shenpa at work. We notice, then halt the urge or the uneasiness. This is accomplished when we cease following the thoughts that brought us there and return to the present moment. Little by little, the thoughts and impulses change.

When we notice the slightest changes, our vision changes: We see differently and endless possibilities are presented. But we must be careful once we see a simple change; we cannot get greedy and want it finished or wrapped up in a bow. Shenpa teaches us to let go of the outcome. So take the time, be clear with what you want, and know that baby steps are indeed steps forward.

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”

– Pema Chödrön

Written by Charisse Glenn.

See medical disclaimer below. ↓

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The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

 

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