Sleepless in San Diego
This is a dilemma only you can solve. I met this girl on a dating service. We met for lunch and it was terrific, so good, in fact, that we agreed to have dinner two nights later.
The second date was magic and I even got a little second base. She was gone for two weeks, but corresponded continually. A third date was set up, but the day of the date, she messaged that she was tired from work and couldn’t go out. However, she made a date for 4 days later for another dinner, writing that she couldn’t wait to see me. She then messaged me on the day of the dinner that she had been working hard and couldn’t make it. She rescheduled for Groundhog Day and canceled 3 hours before meeting.
She has suggested dinner in a week. Is she crazy, in love with an old boyfriend, or am I crazy to make yet another date?
Love lost in San Diego.
Dear Love Lost in San Diego:
I am so glad you used the word “crazy” so I didn’t have to. Yes, you are. I wouldn’t spare one brain cell wondering if she is still in love with an old boyfriend. Who cares? She is ghosting, gas lighting, love bombing, zombie-ing and bread crumbing you all at the same time. Wow it was fun to type all those “hip” new words, yet really have no idea what they mean. I think I used them correctly, however. To be more clear, she is fucking with you.
Mr. Love Lost you are living the movie Groundhog Day or did the irony of meeting on that day get lost in your love addled brain? I say pull yourself together and forget Ms. “I’m tired or busy” as apparently she can easily wait to see you.
Her excuses demonstrate little to no imagination which is disappointing. At least an emergency appendectomy shows an inkling of thought. Or, “I am positive my cat is going to start talking tonight so I have to stay home,” which if she did use…marry her!
Be happy you had a little magic and got to second base. Now wake up and hopefully it’s a new day.
High School Trauma
There may be something wrong with me. Virtually everyone in my aging peer group seems to perversely enjoy talking about what a trauma high school was for them. Egos crushed, rejections galore, lofty dreams mangled, etc. I had a great time in high school. Young, vital, adventurous, hardly any responsibilities at all, big effing deal if I took some emotional bruises.
I’ve actually stopped proclaiming my fondness for high school because I just get cold stares. Is there something wrong with me? Should I start scouring my memory for the negative events and dwell on them until I’m paralyzed with grief?
I’d like to congratulate you on liking high school. Classic repression or a skill set unknown to me. I think of high school as the “best of times and the worst of times.” Mostly the worst. I’m wondering if you were on the football or basketball team as those guys looked like they had a blast. Nothing like girls worshipping you to make those four years fly by.
I remember high school as a blood sport. I can only guess that you didn’t care if you repeated an outfit in the same week. A Catholic school uniform would have taken the pressure off but I was Jewish. Add to that the catastrophic blow of not making cheerleading. I wasn’t even close as my ground to air ratio was less than two inches. My crush since middle school found a new girlfriend. I got asked to the senior prom and then ghosted. I had my first kiss but it was a really awful one which caused my lip to bleed and a chipped tooth. I discovered years later I wasn’t invited to Marnie’s sweet sixteen party which actually disappointed me. Was high school sex good, as I missed that? Anyone?
Phil, feel free to agonize over some of my memories. I’m happy to share the grief.
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