Welcome to Our Weekly Magazine

Become the best version of yourself Sign-up for our weekly magazine.

Become the best version of yourself today.

We send a weekly roundup of our best work and highlight standout community members. It's free, and you can always leave if it's not your jam.

Dear Gail: Martha Stewart, the Newest Barbie Doll 

Comedian Gail Forrest shares her thoughts on the limits of cosmetic procedures and one’s reverence for one’s father.

Martha Stewart, the Newest Barbie Doll 

Dear Gail,
You probably knew this question was inevitable but is that really Martha Stewart on the cover of SI? She can’t possibly look like that at 81. What’s up with her? I’m 58 and I definitely like the idea of looking better, what older person doesn’t? But is there a line in the sand? Whereas some of the surgical results I’ve seen make a person’s face less droopy and wrinkle free, don’t you think some people look worse?

Can you go too far to cling to youth?

Sally in Seattle

Dear Sally:
Yes, I definitely think you can go too far in clinging to youth. And no, I don’t think that is the real Martha Stewart on the cover of SI. I like to think it’s Mattel’s new Martha Stewart Barbie Doll for the 75+ male market. I read Martha is denying any surgical alterations to her face and that her decades-younger look is due to her skin care routine… blah blah blah.  Ask Cher who looks almost ageless; it takes years of needles, face lifts and paralytic agents to turn back THAT much time. And also a really talented photoshop tech on your payroll.

I shrieked seeing the new face of Kristin Davis. The beatific Charlotte from Sex and the City is gone, and now looking very Twilight Zone. And I will never forget the first peek at Meg Ryan when she morphed from America’s cutest girl to “WTF” and why? Also remembering back to Jocelyn Wildenstein, the wife of a billionaire art dealer, who was literally on a cosmetic quest to resemble a cat.  She definitely succeeded but looks more like an abandoned stray than exotic feline. “Meow!”

In LA I’ve seen women with lips filled to exploding, breasts on the verge of bursting, and butt implants that take up the entire sidewalk.  

There is a cosmetic tipping point!

Are Diamonds Returnable or for Keeps?

Dear Gail,
I am engaged to a lovely girl, Vicki. Actually, I am engaged to two people, Vicki and her father. She adores him, and I can’t escape her “fatherisms.” When I park the car she says, very specifically, her father always said to turn the wheel into the curb. When I hang a picture her father always says, emphatically, to put a piece of tape in the wall before pounding in the nail. There’s no end to the “isms.”

What can I do to salvage my sanity and relationship?

Hanging my head,

Dear Hanging My Head:
Neil, you have a Daddy’s girl. Oy! And there’s not much to do or say that she won’t take as a personal attack on him. Remember the show “Father Knows Best”? That’s your future. I hope the ring is returnable. Dad is her super action hero or so she believes. Although parking a car and hanging a picture is debatable as hero criteria. I hope he didn’t clean gutters because that could be certain death if you have a pitched roof.  

Vicki is on a quest to find a Daddy duplicate. Ouch, babe. Are you that guy? Do you want to be that guy? Fixing the toilet incorrectly is a hard cross to bear. I think there is only one way to jiggle the handle when it’s running but you will find out. Another “ism” could be headed in your direction.

I can’t say I feel your pain but I can say Vicki sounds like trouble because being fluent in “Fatherism” isn’t a romance language to me.

Neil, curb your wheels and return the ring.

​​Need advice? Gail wants to hear from you. Send your letters, questions, and quandaries to: newsletter@weareageist.com

See medical disclaimer below. ↓


  1. I personally don’t have a problem with what Martha Stewart did for this photo shoot. What does disturb me is the rampant ageism those in the media, in the US most prominently, continue to show in their ads, entertainment, etc. A far worse problem.

  2. As a 65-year-old woman, I look to age affirming influences such as Celebrate the Gray. Included in their offerings are natural looking older female models. The models are vetted to ensure no hair coloring or facial ‘enhancements’. Beautiful!

    • I love that! Now there is what we should look to and not impossible pie in the sky images that are photo shopped or unaffordable. Great that they vet the models for authenticity!

  3. You ladies!

    Please be aware that we guys also battle ageism. It is not the exclusive killing field for those of the female persuasion.

    We guys ARE more fortunate in that we seemingly can sometimes more readily unearth pragmatic solutions to the effects of gravity.

    For example, I used to have Michelangelo-David-like muscled legs that were molded by years of nonstop sports. Even was a leg model for awhile.

    All these years later, perched just north of my knees are what patriots would call your tired, your poor and your huddled puddles of flesh that suggest I am wearing panty hose I need to hoist up.

    Fortunately, no chemical or surgical procedures are required to address the issue. I simply started wearing longer shorts that fall just below the knee.

    VERY Michael Jordan.

    • The FAB Five look….awesome! How I loved those boys. And have you seen them lately? Not as awesome baby. Thanks for you vivid description of your legs; it made me smile.

      Great comment and useful to us women folk

  4. Good one, Gail.

    Have you seen Joan Collins lately? (YES, she’s still alive).

    She’s in her 90’s, claims to have had no surgery at all, and looks like she’s had none, actually. She’s much older looking than she was in her halcyon days of course, but the remarkable thing is, she still freaking looks like Joan Collins. It’s a kind of preternatural gift, I think, and more power to those so blessed.

    I haven’t looked it up, but I bet she’s written books on how to maintain one’s youthful appearance. And I’d also bet she doesn’t really have a clue how to do that, she’s just one of the ones with that particular gift. Also she’s sort of Brit royalty and those queens live for ages.

    • No one claims to have had surgery. She had it ages ago. Everyone has a story kiddo and they stick to it. Some have better bone structure than others and that is as good as it gets unless you like in a cave and never see the sun that also helps decrease wrinkles. Many factors add in but no one gets to look like these women unassisted


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

Gail Forresthttp://www.gailforrest.com
Gail Forrest is a comedy writer and stand up comic. She studied at Second City in Chicago and has performed at Pretty Funny Women and Flappers in LA, as well as Second City to name a few. She has a published book Gonepausal on Amazon about women in midlife and is working on a new book which includes men and promises to be just as funny with even more insights on aging.


Recommended Articles


LATEST Profiles

Latest in Health Science