Dear Gail: How Do I Stay in Shape When I Just Want to Drink Beer & Watch TV?
Now that I am over sixty I find that’s it’s hard to stay in shape. Nobody’s mistaken me for a beached whale yet but that day is not far off. I need will power but really just want to watch football and drink beer. What should I do?
Dear Mr. Whale:
The first thing you should do is GET YOUR ASS UP OFF THE COUCH! It is public enemy #1 in the fight to stay in shape. Keep moving. Step away from The NFL Today and go outside, walk around the block. Walk around two, three, four, try and break a sweat. Until the day comes when you can see your feet again or your elastic waistband pants stop expanding, keep moving. And as my mother would advise, stand up straight! It’s thinning. As for the beer, use it to wash your hair or unclog the sink.
Dear Gail: Why Are Men I Meet Only Sexually Available?
Why are the men I meet either available to me emotionally or available to me sexually but never both? Don’t we deserve both? – Andria
I hear you loud and clear. Getting both is like winning the billion dollar lottery or getting struck by lightning twice in one day. It’s a needle in a haystack situation and sadly my haystack is out of needles.
My dad used to say, “You just have to keep getting up to bat.” I hate baseball. Or that old stupid standby, “If you throw enough mud at the wall something’s going to stick.” Ever try to throw a man at a wall? My son’s old babysitter preached to me, “Men are like buses, there’s always another one.” Where? What time?
It’s my humble opinion men are sexually available until their last breath. Thank you, big Pharma. And a shout out to Nelson Rockefeller who actually took his last breath that way. The emotional part is definitely a challenge. There’s no pill for that as of this writing.
I say take a chance and learn to play Pickle Ball as it seems to be the answer for everything.
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Drawing by Diane Bronstein.