Dear Gail: F-Bombs Are Falling! F-Bombs Are Falling!

Comedian Gail Forrest considers the value of the f-bomb and whether it is possible to dress too casually for a casual date.

F-Bombs Are Falling! F-Bombs Are Falling!

Dear Gail:
On a recent date an otherwise quite attractive woman exclaimed to the waiter, “What the F happened to our salads?” Admittedly, the service was slow but her tone seemed rude and extreme. My attractive date got less so with each f-bomb. Bottom line: that was our last date. 

The gratuitous F to make one seem stronger only makes one weaker. The word has become a point of contention with me and the women I date.

WTF, no wonder I’m still single!
Frank W

Dear Frank:
What a coincidence! Last night I was watching Succession and the f-word is the anchor tenant of every sentence. It would be a fun statistic to know how many times “fuck” is said in each episode. At least the writers don’t have to ever use a thesaurus. Honestly I have no idea what the “fuck” they are talking about most of the time.    

I digress. I understand your sentiment but admit I also use the word. I think it’s an easy exit out of a sentence. You can express every emotion in that one syllable. It flies out of my mouth before I can think of an alternative. My nephew started saying “for crying out loud” which was a fun and sassy substitute but it never imprinted in my brain and I forgot it within hours. Kudos to him, however.

Frank, is it more inappropriate or unacceptable for women to use the f-word than men?  Are you gender specific in your accusation because I think it’s an equal opportunity term. I do not believe I have ever refused to see a man again if he said “fuck” on our date. It’s in the ethosphere. I have a multitude of other reasons to ixnay a man like pant length or socks with sandals. Those are valid to me and probably wacko to you.

The next time “fuck” jumps out of my mouth I will remember your letter but that probably won’t stop it. 

And I agree, don’t f-bomb the waiter.

Dating Amal Clooney or Pete Davidson

Dear Gail,
What is casual dress these days? My brother fixed me up with a girl who seemed to be just what I was looking for: attractive, witty and intelligent. We met for a “casual” dinner at a local artisanal pizza place. Wanting to look good I wore my new jeans. She came dressed as sophisticated as Amal Clooney and I immediately knew she felt that I wasn’t up to her standards. It was confirmed when my brother called and yelled at me about what I had on.

I am not really excited about buying a whole new wardrobe to go on a date. I recently went into Nordstroms and was shocked by the euro styling and bank-busting price tags. 

Now what?

Dear Neil:
Amal Clooney type you say? Nice fix up. I love what she wears but the cost would send me to debtor’s prison. Btw is there still a debtor’s prison? Unless you looked like Richard Simmons and was wearing a glittering tank top with your new jeans, how offensive could you have appeared? A local artisanal pizza place is not a red carpet event. Casual baby. 

Kim Kardashian, the notorious slave to fashion, dated Pete Davidson and he hasn’t looked good or dressed well in at least a decade. He’s tatted, branded, wears ripped stuff and according to TMZ that’s not what broke them up.   

I’ve been known after most dates to complain about something. Most recently it was pant length. Three inches above the ankle are capri pants not khakis. I also remember a man who showed up in slovenly sweat clothes. He was a no go. It was a date, not a home boy reunion big guy.

I take the word “casual” very seriously and haven’t put on an expensive dress or high heels since my son’s wedding four years ago. I rotated between two pairs of sweat pants for all of COVID and was saddened by their torn, worn demise. I would like them to be enshrined in the Smithsonian as an artifact from the Age of COVID.

I’m in LA and every man here is out on a date in jeans, t-shirt, Nikes and a Mercedes, Beemer or Bentley.  

Get a new car, new date, and keep your old clothes.

Need advice? Gail wants to hear from you. Send your letters, questions, and quandaries to: newsletter@weareageist.com

See medical disclaimer below. ↓


  1. re: dropping the F-bomb… try visiting Ireland. Our taxi driver used that word in every sentence… guessing he said Fuck about 20 times during a ride to the airport. It was charming in they Irish accent. LOL

  2. Really good one, Gail.

    I agree that the eff bomb is an equal opportunity term, but it’s who you’re with that matters. Some people are genuinely offended by the word, particularly on occasion of first meeting. I knew a very gentile, well mannered woman for about five years, we had long conversations about everything, and then one day I let slip the effery, and she responded with “oh, I didn’t know you used profanity”, and after that our conversations consisted of mutual eff word (and others) carpet bombing.

    That’s probably an example of an overabundance of caution … but still … I think it good to be respectful until you know for sure.

    • Good advice but I’m afraid I let it slip too often. I had a girlfriend who used it as every other word and thruthfully even to me it was way too much. Yep know your audience

  3. I was at a local DNC breakfast in my newly transplanted town in North Carolina and met a law-enforcement professor at one of the local colleges. He invited me to speak to his class on the Tylenol Murders research I have done, but curiously added that I could not say anything profane, or swear. I paused for a moment and replied, “Well, that’s going to be a goddamn fucking problem.”
    I can’t tell you how it went, because I didn’t get to go.


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The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

Gail Forresthttp://www.gailforrest.com
Gail Forrest is a comedy writer and stand up comic. She studied at Second City in Chicago and has performed at Pretty Funny Women and Flappers in LA, as well as Second City to name a few. She has a published book Gonepausal on Amazon about women in midlife and is working on a new book which includes men and promises to be just as funny with even more insights on aging.


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