Dear Gail: Boys to Men to Boys Again

Boys to Men to Boys Again

Dear Gail:
Is finding the hamper difficult for men? I keep reminding my husband the floor is not where his dirty clothes go to get washed. He turned 70 and now acts like I’m his mommy. Is this true of all men? They certainly act helpless and childlike the older they get. 

Not Hazel the maid

Dear Not Hazel:
Does your husband even know what a hamper is? If not you might want to give him a demonstration regarding its function. And if he knows, insist he uses Apple maps to locate it. When you’re really fed up you might place it where he is guaranteed to trip. Drastic, but could jog his memory as he clings to the basket for dear life on his way to the floor. “It’s the hamper, big guy!”

I assume you do all the laundry so you might consider a strike and only wash your clothes.  Just let his pile up and when he’s out of underwear offer up a pair of your panties. That would be so fun yet could cause you to go blind or die of fright.  

I think men become more helpless as they age or just lazier and have lost the excuse of work. They need reprograming or rehoming. At this point in life you shouldn’t have to re-raise a seventy-year-old.
Gail

The Art of Seduction

Dear Gail:
I really like this new guy, but now a warning flag! I just got a text message with these lovely paintings saying, “These Joan Mitchells that I saw in Paris made me think of you”…followed by two images of a young man on Grindr. Obviously sent by mistake… Should I ask for an explanation, let him suffer the embarrassment, or assume the worst and never answer again?
Abstract Art Lover

Dear Abstract Art Lover:
Texting Joan Mitchell paintings from Paris and saying they made him think of you is oh so sweet. At least he has good taste in art. But, hold on just one sec… dick pics from Grindr? Not a relationship jump starter. Whoa baby. I hope the guy looked better than Anthony Weiner or it could create a mental health problem for you now and in the future. It can certainly put a halt to your sex life. It’s put a halt to mine.

I know nothing about Grindr except the name which is self-explanatory. I think you should come right out and ask him about the text. Let him suffer the embarrassment the same way you suffered the shock and I suffered the nausea. I think your budding relationship has been redefined whatever you decide, unless perhaps he could interest you in a three way. Leave me out, however, as I have a bad back. 

The positive spin is you found a guy who knows who Joan Mitchell is – a rarity in the dating world. I suggest, however, you only spend time with him in art museums.
Gail

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