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Dear Gail: Boys to Men to Boys Again

Comedian Gail Forrest offers advice to the long married and the newly seduced on how to say the unsayable.

Boys to Men to Boys Again

Dear Gail:
Is finding the hamper difficult for men? I keep reminding my husband the floor is not where his dirty clothes go to get washed. He turned 70 and now acts like I’m his mommy. Is this true of all men? They certainly act helpless and childlike the older they get. 

Not Hazel the maid

Dear Not Hazel:
Does your husband even know what a hamper is? If not you might want to give him a demonstration regarding its function. And if he knows, insist he uses Apple maps to locate it. When you’re really fed up you might place it where he is guaranteed to trip. Drastic, but could jog his memory as he clings to the basket for dear life on his way to the floor. “It’s the hamper, big guy!”

I assume you do all the laundry so you might consider a strike and only wash your clothes.  Just let his pile up and when he’s out of underwear offer up a pair of your panties. That would be so fun yet could cause you to go blind or die of fright.  

I think men become more helpless as they age or just lazier and have lost the excuse of work. They need reprograming or rehoming. At this point in life you shouldn’t have to re-raise a seventy-year-old.

The Art of Seduction

Dear Gail:
I really like this new guy, but now a warning flag! I just got a text message with these lovely paintings saying, “These Joan Mitchells that I saw in Paris made me think of you”…followed by two images of a young man on Grindr. Obviously sent by mistake… Should I ask for an explanation, let him suffer the embarrassment, or assume the worst and never answer again?
Abstract Art Lover

Dear Abstract Art Lover:
Texting Joan Mitchell paintings from Paris and saying they made him think of you is oh so sweet. At least he has good taste in art. But, hold on just one sec… dick pics from Grindr? Not a relationship jump starter. Whoa baby. I hope the guy looked better than Anthony Weiner or it could create a mental health problem for you now and in the future. It can certainly put a halt to your sex life. It’s put a halt to mine.

I know nothing about Grindr except the name which is self-explanatory. I think you should come right out and ask him about the text. Let him suffer the embarrassment the same way you suffered the shock and I suffered the nausea. I think your budding relationship has been redefined whatever you decide, unless perhaps he could interest you in a three way. Leave me out, however, as I have a bad back. 

The positive spin is you found a guy who knows who Joan Mitchell is – a rarity in the dating world. I suggest, however, you only spend time with him in art museums.

Need advice? Gail wants to hear from you. Send your letters, questions, and quandaries to: newsletter@weareageist.com  

See medical disclaimer below. ↓


  1. Oh, that’s a laundry hamper. I thought it was a Goodwill donation box in the house.
    Thanks Gail for advice that keeps me laughing

  2. Oh come on! I know what a hamper is! And I know where it is!

    What I don’t understand is how it keeps getting filled with clothes, many of them evidently mine.

    Very funny, Gail. (seriously) 👍

    • My question is do your clothes reappear mysteriously in your drawers and closet and just happen to be clean? It’s like prestidigitation!

      seriously funny is a good oxymoron!


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The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

Gail Forresthttp://www.gailforrest.com
Gail Forrest is a comedy writer and stand up comic. She studied at Second City in Chicago and has performed at Pretty Funny Women and Flappers in LA, as well as Second City to name a few. She has a published book Gonepausal on Amazon about women in midlife and is working on a new book which includes men and promises to be just as funny with even more insights on aging.


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