One never knows what someone else is going through. We just don’t. Here at AGEIST we regularly receive messages which we kindly refer to as hate mail. Unless it is completely unhinged, I like to respond, and what I find is that almost always the person just wants to be heard, to be acknowledged — their comment is only partially about whatever they wrote in about. As a side note: on the whole, all of you are wonderful, and we here are deeply appreciative of your being here with us on this journey. One of the benefits of being a bit older is that we know enough to give people some slack, to not take every slight as a personal attack that needs to be gladitorially defended. Staying positive seems to promote more positivity, and it certainly feels better afterwards than going negative.
This is where strength comes in. Strong people are not easily scared; they tend to be quick to help and to allow a large degree of latitude for belligerence. By strength, I don’t mean just gym built muscles; I also mean emotional strength, mental strength and spiritual strength. This is why I am so interested in helping people become stronger. The stronger we are the more we can absorb incoming slights without feeling them as a threat, and the more we can be useful. Our ability to make a positive impact in the world is a function of our strength, our actions, and of time alive.
Being strong requires work, similar to aging well; they are pretty much the same. With all the bad happening in the world today, and it does feel as though this is a particularly fraught moment, it is even more important that we put the oxygen mask on ourselves first. I know from personal experience that when I am injured or sick, I am much quicker to anger and outrage than I am otherwise. There was a time when my left arm basically didn’t work, and I felt intensely vulnerable in crowds. My fear caused me to bark when I otherwise would have smiled. I have been known to do the same when I am in a meeting with people who I may feel are superior to me in some way. I bark.
If we are coming from a position of strength, our words and actions can more easily be informed by compassion and empathy than if we are feeling vulnerable and scared. There are many of us who right now feel, with considerable evidence, quite vulnerable. For some of us, it is age; for some, financial stress; for some, global conflict is hitting home. We others are here to help. Sometimes it is not about solving a problem, it is just listening, being present in silent strength, letting people know they are seen and heard, and that you care.
Onward and upward,
David
