So often we receive messages seeking guidance and direction on muddling through what could be called “the messy middle of life.” At this point, we all probably have considerable life skills and may even have picked up a good bit about who we are and how we work. At the same time, we may be having trouble figuring out what the next move is—what should we do now? Having some self-knowledge is always a good idea, but self-knowledge is not enough. We may know our strengths, we may be willing to claim our specialness, but, then what? This is the pivot point of action, of making a decision that can, if we ponder too much, make us lock up. From getting kicked around a bit, we know that there are consequences to actions, and that no matter how much research we may do, we just never know how things will turn out.
Before we can make a change, we first need to expand our imagination of what is possible. As I often say—and this goes for all of us—our greatest limitation is our imagination. Pro tip: Whatever you are thinking, think bigger. We are all stronger, braver, and more capable than we give ourselves credit for being. So, when we are faced with this decision point, we often take a wise pause before jumping because, well, we just never know. The bigger fail, though, is inaction, as it often leads to a search for perfection, procrastination, and paralysis. When in doubt, act. Doing nothing will get you nowhere. You will be in that same place tomorrow until you decide otherwise. Doing something will give you experience and more knowledge; it may be good or less so, but, in any case, you will know more than you do now. While there is risk in acting, there is risk in not acting. No one said life has a clear road map—whatever our age. Personally, I learn from doing and from speaking. Some people (and they astound me) are able to sit quietly and learn about themselves. We all have our ways of learning.
The what, where, and when of doing something—be it a new job, a new business, or any endeavor—are all actions that can be easily modified. The key questions, though, the ones that really matter, are: Who are you doing this with? How do they make you feel? Pay attention to that last question because—be it romantic, business, or whatever—the people you are with are the make or break. Do you feel better about yourself with them? Do you feel joy? Do you feel empowered in the qualities that matter to you? If you decide to jump, then give it all you’ve got. We are not here to be mediocre. You have a specialness in you—we all do. Nothing truly great happens easily; it is all hard in its own way, which is not the same as being joyless. Being the best version of you while engaged in a difficult, worthwhile endeavor is fantastically satisfying and joyful. There should also be ease, enjoyability, and effortlessness at some level. It should fit you. Not doing anything or settling for something we know is not right may be easier initially but much harder later. We have agency, we get to pick our hard. When in doubt about these sorts of matters, put together a kitchen cabinet of trusted friends. Listen to them through your lens of who you are, your values, and what you want your life to be.
Onward and upward,
David
