The idea that after a certain age, we are fully baked is true only if one chooses to believe it. Neuroplasticity, a well-documented effect, is the science term meaning that our brains have the ability to change, to learn new skills, and to adapt to new conditions. We can absolutely learn new languages, learn how to dance, and most importantly, we can also change how we behave and feel about things. We are not our thoughts, we are not our actions and we are not our feelings. These are all very important, but the mere fact that we can observe them would indicate that there is something more to us. By observing, we begin the process of changing, initially slowly, but with time, we can actually make some pretty big moves. As Dr. Kien Vuu speaks about in this week’s SuperAge podcast, our default mode networks, that set of hard-wired brain circuitry which is often the root of our repeated less-than-optimal behavior, is something we can change. Neurons that fire together are those that wire together. Different thinking leads to different actions and if repeated, to a changed brain.
This is wonderful news. We don’t have to be who we were, we can become a better version of ourselves at any age if we so choose. Our history and experiences remain the same, but our present and future can be different. In order for that to happen though, there needs to be an effort to change one’s awareness and one’s circumstances. If all the inputs stay the same, the outputs also stay the same. The phrase that where ever I go, I bring my old self, is only partially true. Having a different reflection of one’s self, or a different view of one’s circumstances, may indeed change how one sees and reacts to things. What is assured, is that if nothing changes, the path ahead will be the path we are on. Seeking out new friends, new experiences, and new advice is a way of nourishing and enlarging our sense of what is happening, and enlarging our imagination of how we can react to it.
Old friends are wonderful, but the downside is that they are probably pretty similar to us, and being nice humans, tend to validate us. I was in NYC last week where I saw people I have known for years. Great to reconnect, but so disappointing that they were doing the same somewhat self-destructive things they had been doing for decades. They had been hanging out with the same old crowd, and the level of good behavior was set just as low as it was 30 or 40 years ago. One of the easier ways we seem to up our game is by being around the sort of people we would like to become. Osmosis works. New people may also be more likely to directly or indirectly point out that perhaps that thing we have been doing for decades may be slightly crazy, and perhaps we could do better.
Changing one’s mind is an adventure, and like other new adventures, it can be challenging, but then who wants to stay stuck?
Onward and upward,
David
