Loneliness is epidemic. The average American has half the close friends that they reported having in 1950. According Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, the Surgeon General, who has taken loneliness as the mission of his life, “When people are socially disconnected, their risk of anxiety and depression increases. So does their risk of heart disease (29 percent), dementia (50 percent), and stroke (32 percent). The increased risk of premature death associated with social disconnection is comparable to smoking daily — and may be even greater than the risk associated with obesity.” He lines up this course of action: First, strengthen social infrastructure: the programs, policies, and structures that aid the development of healthy relationships. Second, renegotiate our relationship with technology, creating space in our lives without our devices so we can be more present with one another. Third, take steps in our personal lives to rebuild our connection to one another.
This is a “we” problem, and as last week’s profile David Robertson wonderfully described, the solution is “we together.” For the individual, volunteering and service help — they broaden our social networks, increase our feelings of being useful, and expand our sense of belonging. Everyone needs to get used to the word yes, to being open, to experiencing new things, to helping people we may not yet know.
All of us have a responsibility here; we are all part of the collective organism known as humanity. If someone is lonely, it can sometimes be tough for them to get out there, to pick up the phone, and to understand that they matter. Our actions have impact: the simple action of saying hello, of noticing someone, of reaching out with a message matters. Leave the big societal changes to people like Dr Murthy and keep it simple around what we can each do every day. Here is my list: Inject inefficiencies into your life; meaning, put more people in your world. Go to actual stores and chat with a fellow human checkout — Jeff Bezos is never going to call you, and the auto-checkouts are not going to smile when you ask about their day. Connect directly with someone every day; not some social media thumbs up, but an actual phone call or a real meeting. Understand that more and better human connection will make us all more resilient, happy, and healthful.
Keep in mind all this is not just about you, it is about others. Together we can. We are all in this together, and if one of us is suffering from loneliness it means we have a collective responsibility to help. This is not a young-old, or economic status, or race thing. It is everyone. Maybe join me; today, make it a point to smile and say hi to someone. As Mr Eastwood says in a somewhat different context, “Make my day.”
Onward and upward,
David
