Just back from Asia and, having had a couple of quality moments with friends there, I am pondering the ever-present question, where should one live? At one inspiring dinner with my incredibly wise friend Ronna, she emphatically suggests keeping it simple: live where your friends are. Community is everything, especially as we move into the later stages of life. If one is thinking about moving, factor in how long it will take to make a new circle of good friends — it could be a decade. One couple from Park City recently told me they had moved there a few years back for the kids, not thinking it would be long term, but now it is where most of their friends are. They are only 50 but, even so, they feel they may not have enough runway to re-establish in a new town, as much as they may want to. Co-housing is an interesting idea but, for most of us, having our own place in proximity to people we know and care about is a more likely path. Home is where your people are.
Having left Los Angeles in early COVID, and now semi-settled between NY and Park City, the “where do you live?” question often directed my way is still not answered with any great authority. Will we live in LA again? Most likely, but not for a while. What I do know is: if we think about what the big rocks are, friends and good medicine are key. Maybe Portugal or Panama are great, but would I have a community there or how long would it take to build one? Exoticism is nice to dip into, but can quickly become wearisome. Been there, done that; and at this stage in life, there is a lot to get done, and figuring out the cable bill in another language, or pining for dinner companions who really know me is not top on the menu.
Then again, I have a recurring idea about a digital Blue Zone-geography being not nearly as important as it was thirty years ago. The Blue Zones people of Netflix don’t really move around much, which is one of the problems of that whole BZ concept. We now have the internet, thus contact with the entirety of the planet and all its wisdom, not just our own little town. I have a lot of issues with the whole BZ schtick; however, having a sense of community clearly works best for most people. Community now seems like it could be place-based, or maybe less so. I have very good friends scattered around the world that I am in digital contact with. To contradict all the above is to note that when I spent a year in a hospital in my late 40s, there were around 10 people who regularly visited me. Those people are forever immortalized in my memory as the ones that count. When the chips are down, having real friends nearby is huge.
Onward and upward,
David
