My F*ck It Era

A clip of the actress Gillian Anderson went viral last year, not about her award-winning portrayal of Margaret Thatcher in The Crown or her iconic role as Agent Scully in cult-favourite The X Files. It was in response to her views on aging. At 56, Anderson’s career is on fire, from TV roles in The Fall and Sex Education, to award-winning stage turns, and penning both a self-help guide for women and a science-fiction trilogy. She’s dating the writer of The Crown, and, frankly, has never looked better. In the clip, she revealed that she’s coined this time in her life as her “F*ck It Era” and encourages others to follow suit.

The F*ck It Era: A New Way to Approach Midlife 

This sentiment is catching on. Actress Mariska Hargitay recently said turning 60 was the start of her “badass era,” and that she had been preparing for it in her 50s by working through her personal trauma and issues. She now has clarity on who she is and a narrower focus on what’s important for her next chapter.

All my friends are contemplating this stage of life, wondering what to do next, where to live, and so on. Middle-age and upper middle-age are so different today, and if you’re lucky, there can be another chapter to embrace. What I love about these discussions is that everyone is having them, asking the big questions, and pondering what if? It’s like an ongoing brainstorm with no bad ideas.

And what if, indeed? Instead of worrying about the worst-case scenario as we age, why not think about the best case? Instead of asking “Why now?,” ask: “Why not?”  

“I know quite a few women, mid-50s and 60s, who are really questioning ‘Is this it?’ I say f*ck it and just have fun. Why not?? Do what you want. Start a business. Go back to school. Go on a journey. Go traveling. Have fun”.

—Gillian Anderson

The Graduate: Learning as a Lifelong Pursuit

In my fourth year of university, I had to unwillingly drop out to get a job and support myself, just shy of graduating. Thirty years later, I finally earned a Bachelor of Arts in visual arts and art history. I had inquired over the years about remaining credits and what it would take to complete my Bachelor of Fine Arts, but it had been impossible without full-term, in-person classes. But it kept lingering. When I inquired again in 2023, I found out there was a Bachelor of Arts that was within reach based on my completed credits. After working for months with admissions, I submitted my petition to graduate, including replacement credit proposals and supporting letters from professors up the line to the Dean’s Office, and in October 2023 I was deemed eligible to graduate.

While I was able to forge a successful advertising career, there were many times I wished I could have checked that degree box. While living abroad and contemplating the UK, for example, I quickly learned I was unemployable without a degree, despite years of experience. It was the same when contemplating a pivot to art consulting and curating. To finally close this lingering loop at this time in my life is not something I had to do, and most people would likely think Why now? But I thought Why not? It’s a personal accomplishment that may benefit a new career path, and I can finally tick that box.

I asked the Dean’s Office if I was their oldest graduate, and do you know what they said? Not even close. In fact, at age 60, students can go back to school for free and continue learning and adding degrees as long as they want. I was floored and am certain no one knows this (check with your school!). This makes so much sense, as later in life is when we can learn because we want to, not because we must. If you have a lingering nudge to complete or add a degree, now is the time.

Re-Meeting My Inner Writer

“F*ck it” has become a favourite saying of mine, and a mantra, too. When I try to talk myself out of a challenge or let someone dissuade me, I revert to it. It doesn’t mean everything works out, but it gives me the boost to go for it regardless of the outcome.

If someone had told me five years ago that I’d be putting my personal writing and views out into the world in a newsletter and subsequent international publications, I would have laughed in disbelief. The first time I pushed the “publish” button in Substack for my launch issue was terrifying (and a real “F*ck it” moment!), but it was also liberating to tap back into something I love to do, which had been buried and forgotten.

I marvel at the way writing can connect with people often in unexpected ways and I relish the inner work and reflection that is part of the creative process. I may just be getting started, but there’s no stopping me now.

A Note from the Author: This article includes excerpts from previously published features originally published on Labadie Boutique’s Newsletter on Substack. To read the original publications, click here.

Kathy McLay is a Canadian writer, fractional executive, art history enthusiast, and Francophile. Kathy writes a newsletter about travel, lifestyle, culture, and like-minded women in midlife under her brand Labadie Boutique and is a contributing writer for France Today and Inspirelle Paris. She sits on the board of directors of her local Children’s Aid Society and is an art educator at her local museum. 

Connect with Kathy at labadieboutique@outlook.com and stay tuned for more of her contributions here at AGEIST.

Labadie Boutique’s Newsletter / Kathy’s Writing Portfolio / Labadie Boutique’s Instagram (@labadie_boutique) / Labadie Boutique’s Art Instagram (@labadie_art)