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Cougarism Revisited

Comedian and author Gail Forrest muses on the highs and lows of being a Cougar

I am having a reversal of critical thinking on being a Cougar. It’s beginning to seem like smart life planning. Flat abs vs flabby — who wouldn’t want to look at that coming out of the shower? A man who doesn’t require a medical alert necklace like my dates. I dream of never meeting for dinner at 5:30 again. I haven’t had the chutzpah to go for younger men, which bums me out, but maybe I should give it a whirl. I just read that Heidi Klum married a young hottie 18 years younger than she is. Go, Heidi, go! I have a good friend who married a man 20 years younger, which at first put me in a state of shock but now a state of wonder and envy. And just a word to the wise: the old rich guy isn’t leaving you any money; it’s already accounted for and in trust to his kids. Still want to eat dinner at 5:30?

Google defines Cougar women as over the age of 40, financially independent, successful, confident, motivated, love their life and self. Ok, ok, I don’t exactly fit the definition, but close. Maybe I should see a therapist. Cougar women date men at least 10 years younger, which sounds better than a pile of cash. Curiously, old men have preyed on younger women for years and they’ve been called “lucky,” not some form of wild mountain cat. I vote for a name change ASAP! Rumor has it younger men are energetic, fun, and not re-filling Viagra prescriptions every month. Those pretty little blue pills are only a medical miracle for men. Does that sound harsh? And if it does, call me. I want to talk to the woman who wants their guy to have an erection that lasts for more than four hours.

Hmmm, so what’s holding me back? The mirror. What happens the day my young hottie looks at me and wishes he was with one? Granted, supermodel Heidi may never face that issue but I probably would. Although, on second thought, how about all the fun in the interim? I’m all in.

Gail Forrest recently started doing standup which she finds is a complete blast. Gonepausal is her blog and she has a book on Amazon by the same name filled with stories of her skewed, funny view on midlife and all its attendant surprises. Humor is the only way forward at this point.  

Gail Forrest

www.gailforrest.com
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See medical disclaimer below. ↓

3 COMMENTS

  1. As a single woman well over 40 I’m constantly surprised by the interest of the younger men, a pleasant surprise but confounding non the less. Not what I was expecting or at least told I should expect. I’m learning to just go with it, who knows?

  2. I’m 51 years old and have been dating younger men for the past 20 years. My current boyfriend is 33 and we’re enjoying our time together immensely. He’s nice to look at, has great stamina and he thinks I’m gorgeous! What else do I need?

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The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.

Gail Forresthttp://www.gailforrest.com
Gail Forrest is a comedy writer and stand up comic. She studied at Second City in Chicago and has performed at Pretty Funny Women and Flappers in LA, as well as Second City to name a few. She has a published book Gonepausal on Amazon about women in midlife and is working on a new book which includes men and promises to be just as funny with even more insights on aging.

 

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