Confessions of a Supplement Junkie

Ah, supplements. The magical little concoctions, pills, and powders that promise everything from glowing skin to boundless energy to a longer life. It’s like we’ve all collectively agreed that if a little is good, a whole bunch must be great, right? And if there’s a shelf of supplements in your kitchen (that probably doubles as a pharmacy), you might just be part of the club I’ve found myself in: The Compulsive Supplement Consumer Club.

Now, let’s get one thing straight—I have absolutely no idea if my supplement cocktail is actually doing anything. Will I wake up tomorrow with the glow of a 30-year-old, or is this just a multi-billion-dollar placebo effect? Who knows. I’m not a scientist, and, frankly, the real answers won’t come until I’m deep into my 80s, probably when the only thing I can digest is nostalgia and maybe a bit of kale, which I detest.

Here is what I do know: When I look around at women my age, I can’t help but give myself an invisible pat on the back. Call it self-congratulation, call it confidence, but every time I hear a friend complain about aches, fatigue, or forgetfulness, I feel like I’ve got my bases covered—at least when it comes to my health regimens. But in the meantime, I’m indulging in the hope that somewhere deep down on a cellular level, they’re working wonders.

My Morning Cocktail: Hope, Hype, & Hyaluronic Acid

My day begins with an essential ritual: a shot of MCT oil blended into my coffee, paired with a “Dose” of mushroom coffee, cinnamon, and ground cloves. This morning elixir is the perfect combination of brain fuel and energy—because who needs a regular cup of coffee when you can elevate it to superfood status? I travel with this powdered concoction, which I pray does not get pulled out of my bag by some suspicious TSA agent.

Then, there’s berberine, my trusty metabolism booster. Does it work? I don’t really know, but it sounds like it should. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of supplements, supposedly supporting healthy blood sugar levels, cholesterol, and, probably, a few things I haven’t even discovered yet. Every time I take it, I feel a little more in control of my health (read: carb addiction), even if my waistline might not be getting the memo.

Next, there’s sulforaphane, which sounds super high-tech and impressive, but it is basically just a ton of broccoli in a pill, like something a genius scientist would recommend after spending years researching the fountain of youth and cancer prevention. I hope it’s working its magic on my cells, erasing damage from years of partying and stressing out about spreadsheets. So, if I start looking 10 years younger, I’ll give sulforaphane all the credit.

Of course, I can’t forget curcumin. It’s the spice of life—literally. Known for its anti-inflammatory properties, curcumin is my go-to. It makes me feel like I’m doing something proactively healthy and reducing this gosh-damn inflammation that everything I eat, drink, and do seems to be causing. Curcumin promises to help with everything from joint pain to brain function. Will it prevent me from complaining about my stiffness after a long day? The jury’s still out on some days, but, generally, I’m feelin’ good.

Resveratrol, the stuff in red wine that everyone swears by, is next on the list. I know, I know, it’s basically a fancy way of saying, “I’m just one step away from drinking a bottle of wine and calling it a wellness routine.” Seemingly, you’d have to down a few bottles of red wine daily to get the dose, which, on certain days I could easily do. But, hey, if it could help with longevity, why not, right? It sounds promising enough to make me feel like I’m doing something extraordinary for my body—without needing to become an alcoholic.

Ah, and here comes NAD+, which I’m convinced is some kind of futuristic, anti-aging serum. I take it in liquid form. Do I know exactly what it does? No. But I’m under the impression that it’s helping my cells function better, like I’m a high-performance sports car. Will I look like I’m 10 years younger in 10 years? Fingers crossed.

And for a dose of calm, I’ve got liposomal L-Theanine. This one is supposed to help with relaxation and stress. So when the world feels like it’s about to implode, I pop one of these bad boys and take a deep breath. I feel like I should wear a crown that says, “I’m calm and collected,” but then again, no one ever knows if I’m actually calm or just really good at pretending.

(Have I made your head spin already? Well…just you wait, there is more.)

Saw palmetto. I’ll be honest, I’m mostly in it for the potential hair benefits. It’s said to regulate hormones and support healthy testosterone levels in women, but if it’s also working its magic on my hairline, I’m not complaining. 

For hydration and joint support, hyaluronic acid is my secret weapon. This one actually makes layman sense to me. Hydration from the inside, right? Supposedly, it helps with skin elasticity and overall hydration, which sounds lovely at this point. So, I like to think that with every dose, I’m fighting off wrinkles one molecule at a time. If this stuff is truly working, I should be able to turn back the clock by a few years. Or at least keep things from heading in the wrong (downward) direction.

DHEA, the hormone that supposedly helps with mood, energy, and overall well-being, makes an appearance, because, let’s face it, I need a little boost. Will it help me feel 33 again? Maybe not, but at least it makes me feel like I’m being proactive about whatever “aging” is.

For a little mental clarity and mood boost, there’s GABA, which is meant to help with relaxation and anxiety. Does it work? Who knows, but I take it with the belief that, in the future, I’ll be calmly looking back at my supplement journey, thinking, “That worked, didn’t it?”

Saffron extract is next on the list because who doesn’t need a little happiness boost in a pill? If it helps me feel less grumpy and more zen, I’m all for it. Plus, it’s not like saffron grows on trees (or maybe it does?).

Lastly, milk thistle and magnesium glycinate round out my daily routine. Milk thistle for liver health (because, apparently, my liver is sometimes working overtime) and magnesium for everything from muscle relaxation to better sleep. Will I wake up one day with a newfound glow? Maybe, maybe not, but I’ll keep dreaming. At this point, I am grateful to fall asleep every night as soon as my head hits the pillow.

The Inevitable Question & Answer

So, does all of this work? Honestly, I have absolutely no idea, but when I look at women my age and feel that subtle sense of superiority, I can’t help but be proud of my determination (and research). Maybe it’s the supplements, maybe it’s just the fact that I’m trying. Either way, I’ll take it. (And I like to tell myself this every time I repeat my complicated routine.) Whether or not my future self will agree is another story, but for now, I’m riding the hope train—and it’s running on an impressive blend of (expensive) supplements.