Do you ever feel like things just aren’t clicking? This week’s guest on The AGEIST Podcast, Rabbi Asher Gottesman, shares his personal path from addiction to sobriety and from shame to self-worth. He explains how loneliness is the real epidemic, and why connection—not just to others, but to ourselves—is the cure. Asher offers clear, grounded advice for building community, rewiring self-talk, and finally feeling seen.
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Key Moments
“You can act yourself into right thinking. You can’t think yourself into right acting.”
“Shame is the greatest element of it because guilt is, ‘I did something wrong’. Shame is, ‘I am something wrong.’”
“If you go to the room of somebody that doesn’t love you, go to the next room. Don’t use it as evidence that you’re not lovable.”
Connect With Rabbi Asher Gottesman
Podcast (Showing Up With Asher Gottesman)
Book: Connection: The Easiest Solution to the World’s Greatest Problem
Connect With AGEIST
Rabbi Asher Gottesman on How Real Human Connection Is the Cure
In a world that’s increasingly digital and often isolating, Rabbi Asher Gottesman offers a simple yet profound solution: real human connection. On this week’s episode of The AGEIST Podcast, Asher unpacks what he sees as the root of many personal struggles, such as loneliness, and outlines a path toward healing built on service, authenticity, and community.
Understanding Shame’s Role
A core theme in the conversation is the difference between guilt and shame. Asher shares that while guilt can be constructive, shame is destructive. It convinces us that we are unworthy of love and belonging. He emphasizes that shame doesn’t just keep us isolated; it tricks us into believing we deserve that isolation. Listeners will learn why shame feeds into addiction and harmful behaviors, and why addressing it with compassion and action is essential for recovery and growth.
Action Over Thought
One of the most impactful takeaways from the interview is Asher’s belief that, “You can act yourself into right thinking.” Instead of waiting to feel better before taking a step forward, he encourages listeners to take small, deliberate actions, like being useful at a party or joining a group activity based on a personal interest. These actions gradually rebuild trust in oneself and create the foundation for meaningful relationships.
Building Connection Through Community
Asher also shares how he built his own community, blending the best aspects of tradition with a modern focus on inclusivity and mutual support. He urges people to remember what they loved as children and use that as a bridge to connect with others in the present. Even if the digital world offers connection, he insists nothing replaces the impact of showing up in person.
Reclaim Connection & Self-Worth
Whether you’re navigating sobriety, seeking deeper relationships, or simply feeling stuck, this episode offers grounded wisdom and practical steps for reclaiming connection and self-worth.
Tune in to hear more from Rabbi Asher Gottesman on this episode of The AGEIST Podcast or check out the full interview transcript.
The ideas expressed here are solely the opinions of the author and are not researched or verified by AGEIST LLC, or anyone associated with AGEIST LLC. This material should not be construed as medical advice or recommendation, it is for informational use only. We encourage all readers to discuss with your qualified practitioners the relevance of the application of any of these ideas to your life. The recommendations contained herein are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. You should always consult your physician or other qualified health provider before starting any new treatment or stopping any treatment that has been prescribed for you by your physician or other qualified health provider. Please call your doctor or 911 immediately if you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency.
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